niedziela, 27 czerwca 2010
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 15
My tour was going relatively well. I wasn’t playing any stadiums, but I was happy. I stayed that way until mid-November.
I was on my laptop one night, just browsing the internet, when Ryan ran in my hotel room.
“Em…” He looked sort of anxious. It made me nervous.
“What is it, Ryan?”
“There’s something I need to show you.” He grabbed my laptop and logged into twitter. He went to some girl’s page that I recognized as Justin’s friend Hannah.
“What’s going on, Ryan?”
“Just… hold on.” He sighed. He clicked on a link to a photo. When the photo loaded, my heart dropped.
It was a photo of her and Justin together. They were embracing and looked awfully close. Too close for my liking. The caption read, “Me and the only guy who’s ever had my heart. So glad we got to spend some time together. Love ya Justin. ”
I sat in silence, reading the caption over and over again and staring at the picture.
“Em… are you ok?” It was like my emotion waited until Ryan asked that question before it exploded.
Ryan saying that made everything hit me. Like a train.
I jumped up and grabbed my cell phone.
“Em, wait, she could be lying. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” I was already dialing Justin’s number.
Two rings. “Hello?”
“What the hell Justin!”
“Em? What are you talking about? What’s going on-“
“You know good and well what the **** is going on, Justin. What is that picture of you and Hannah all about?”
“Em, that’s not what it looks like.”
“Really? Then why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I was going to, but-“
“Were you? Because you know what? I didn’t hear it from you, in case you didn’t notice. I heard it from Ryan. WHY didn’t I hear it from you?”
“It’s more complicated than you think, Em.”
“Well why don’t you explain it to me?” Ryan looked very uncomfortable.
“I think I’ll leave you alone, Em.” He said.
“OH no you don’t. You’re staying here. I want a witness just in case I go crazy and do something I’ll regret.” This didn’t make him look any more comfortable.
“Go ahead Justin. Start explaining.”
“Ok… I was playing my hometown show tonight, and Hannah showed up. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, so after the concert we decided to hang out and catch up.”
“Keep going.”
“Well, you know we dated. A long time ago. We were really young then. But I guess she still has feelings for me. We were just talking and all of a sudden she kissed me.” I thought my blood was boiling with anger.
“And? Did you stop her?”
“Well, no.”
“NO?”
“No… Em, she was my first real girlfriend. I couldn’t be mean to her.”
“No, but you could hurt me to save her feelings.”
“Em, please-‘’
“No, keep going. I want to hear this.” He sighed. I was hysterical inside.
“I let her kiss me. I wanted to make sure, you know? Make sure I didn’t have any feelings for her.”
“And? Do you?”
“Well, I thought I did.”
“Justin, don’t call me. I’m going to hang up. I don’t want you to try to call me afterwards. Just leave me the **** alone.”
“Em, I don’t have feelings for her! I don’t think anyway… but that doesn’t matter! I love YOU.”
“Justin, please. Just leave me alone.” I had begun to cry.
“Em…”
“When I said it, I meant it. But obviously you didn’t. Goodbye Justin.” I hung up the phone.
I collapsed on the bed and began to sob. Ryan came over and sat beside me.
“I’m sorry, Em.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Ryan. Just please don’t leave me alone right now.” He nodded and put
an arm around me.
----
Justin tried to call me multiple times over the next week. I refused to talk to him. I had texted him back two times. Once to say, “No,” When he told me to answer my phone, and once to tell him that he had really hurt me. He had texted me and said he was very sorry and would really like to talk to me. This was my way of dealing with it. I had to keep away from him and try to get my head straight.
My band was great as expected. They didn’t try to make me talk about it, but when I did want to, they were right there, ready to listen. Charlotte, who was like my very protective older sister, was also great to talk to. She just told me to give my heart some time, and then try talking to him again.
I had begun to write a song. I had no other way of letting out the pain of what Justin did. The band asked me to hear it, but I made them wait until I was finished. It was my therapy, writing that song.
When I was finished, I knew I would feel better. At least a little.
On one of my last tour dates, I decided to debut the song. I had talked to Justin a few more times by then, but our situation still wasn’t better. I told him I needed time. He agreed, but only reluctantly.
“Ok guys. This is a new song. I’ve never played it before for anyone other than my band and my manager. It’s a really personal song. I don’t know if you’ll know what it’s about, but if you do, that’s ok. If you don’t, that’s ok, too. It’s helped me to deal with a situation, and I hope that if any of you are going through something like this, it will help you, too.” Together my band and I began to play.
Think of me when you’re out, when you’re out there
I’ll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it’s a shame I’m a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
And wake up early to black and white reruns
That escaped from my mouth, oh, oh
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
And maybe then we’d remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
After the song was finished, the crowd cheered. I was feeling better. I wasn’t completely ok, but knowing that I had finally expressed what I needed to express to someone other than my band and Charlotte helped me.
I was on my laptop one night, just browsing the internet, when Ryan ran in my hotel room.
“Em…” He looked sort of anxious. It made me nervous.
“What is it, Ryan?”
“There’s something I need to show you.” He grabbed my laptop and logged into twitter. He went to some girl’s page that I recognized as Justin’s friend Hannah.
“What’s going on, Ryan?”
“Just… hold on.” He sighed. He clicked on a link to a photo. When the photo loaded, my heart dropped.
It was a photo of her and Justin together. They were embracing and looked awfully close. Too close for my liking. The caption read, “Me and the only guy who’s ever had my heart. So glad we got to spend some time together. Love ya Justin. ”
I sat in silence, reading the caption over and over again and staring at the picture.
“Em… are you ok?” It was like my emotion waited until Ryan asked that question before it exploded.
Ryan saying that made everything hit me. Like a train.
I jumped up and grabbed my cell phone.
“Em, wait, she could be lying. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” I was already dialing Justin’s number.
Two rings. “Hello?”
“What the hell Justin!”
“Em? What are you talking about? What’s going on-“
“You know good and well what the **** is going on, Justin. What is that picture of you and Hannah all about?”
“Em, that’s not what it looks like.”
“Really? Then why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I was going to, but-“
“Were you? Because you know what? I didn’t hear it from you, in case you didn’t notice. I heard it from Ryan. WHY didn’t I hear it from you?”
“It’s more complicated than you think, Em.”
“Well why don’t you explain it to me?” Ryan looked very uncomfortable.
“I think I’ll leave you alone, Em.” He said.
“OH no you don’t. You’re staying here. I want a witness just in case I go crazy and do something I’ll regret.” This didn’t make him look any more comfortable.
“Go ahead Justin. Start explaining.”
“Ok… I was playing my hometown show tonight, and Hannah showed up. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, so after the concert we decided to hang out and catch up.”
“Keep going.”
“Well, you know we dated. A long time ago. We were really young then. But I guess she still has feelings for me. We were just talking and all of a sudden she kissed me.” I thought my blood was boiling with anger.
“And? Did you stop her?”
“Well, no.”
“NO?”
“No… Em, she was my first real girlfriend. I couldn’t be mean to her.”
“No, but you could hurt me to save her feelings.”
“Em, please-‘’
“No, keep going. I want to hear this.” He sighed. I was hysterical inside.
“I let her kiss me. I wanted to make sure, you know? Make sure I didn’t have any feelings for her.”
“And? Do you?”
“Well, I thought I did.”
“Justin, don’t call me. I’m going to hang up. I don’t want you to try to call me afterwards. Just leave me the **** alone.”
“Em, I don’t have feelings for her! I don’t think anyway… but that doesn’t matter! I love YOU.”
“Justin, please. Just leave me alone.” I had begun to cry.
“Em…”
“When I said it, I meant it. But obviously you didn’t. Goodbye Justin.” I hung up the phone.
I collapsed on the bed and began to sob. Ryan came over and sat beside me.
“I’m sorry, Em.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Ryan. Just please don’t leave me alone right now.” He nodded and put
an arm around me.
----
Justin tried to call me multiple times over the next week. I refused to talk to him. I had texted him back two times. Once to say, “No,” When he told me to answer my phone, and once to tell him that he had really hurt me. He had texted me and said he was very sorry and would really like to talk to me. This was my way of dealing with it. I had to keep away from him and try to get my head straight.
My band was great as expected. They didn’t try to make me talk about it, but when I did want to, they were right there, ready to listen. Charlotte, who was like my very protective older sister, was also great to talk to. She just told me to give my heart some time, and then try talking to him again.
I had begun to write a song. I had no other way of letting out the pain of what Justin did. The band asked me to hear it, but I made them wait until I was finished. It was my therapy, writing that song.
When I was finished, I knew I would feel better. At least a little.
On one of my last tour dates, I decided to debut the song. I had talked to Justin a few more times by then, but our situation still wasn’t better. I told him I needed time. He agreed, but only reluctantly.
“Ok guys. This is a new song. I’ve never played it before for anyone other than my band and my manager. It’s a really personal song. I don’t know if you’ll know what it’s about, but if you do, that’s ok. If you don’t, that’s ok, too. It’s helped me to deal with a situation, and I hope that if any of you are going through something like this, it will help you, too.” Together my band and I began to play.
Think of me when you’re out, when you’re out there
I’ll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it’s a shame I’m a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
And wake up early to black and white reruns
That escaped from my mouth, oh, oh
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
And maybe then we’d remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
After the song was finished, the crowd cheered. I was feeling better. I wasn’t completely ok, but knowing that I had finally expressed what I needed to express to someone other than my band and Charlotte helped me.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 14
Fast forward a month, and Justin and I were still going strong. I still loved everything about him. But I was worried; we were both about to be going on two separate tours. I wouldn’t see him for a very long time. We were both all too aware of this fact. When we hung out, we tried to soak up every little bit of each other that we could, hoping that it would carry us through our months apart.
I said goodbye to Justin in September as he departed for his tour. I was sad, but I had to get over it. I had one coming up, too. We were going to be away from each other for months. We only had our old standbys; phone calls, texting and skype. We were going to try to make the best of it.
My birthday was in October. Of course I didn’t get to spend it with Justin. He did surprise me with something, however.
At about 8:00pm I got a text from Kenny. He asked if I was available for skype. I didn’t have a concert that night, so I told him yes. I didn’t understand, though… Justin was playing. Who was I going to talk to? Kenny? I laughed at the thought as I sat up my computer on my hotel bed.
Kenny appeared on my screen and said hello. I asked him what was going on.
“Justin wanted you to see something.”
“Why didn’t he tell me about it?”
“You’ll see. Happy Birthday by the way.”
“Thanks.”
“You might want to turn your volume down until I give you the thumbs up.”
“Ok…” I had noticed that he was walking somewhere very dark and the sound wasn’t very good. It was like something was going on in the background. Something very loud. Then it hit me. He was at
Justin’s concert. I quickly imagined Justin doing some horribly dangerous stunt and wondered if I could even make it through watching it without freaking out.
But as Kenny walked out to the stage, he didn’t stop. He kept going. He walked with his laptop all the way to the middle of the stage where Justin was. Justin waved at me and smiled and waved back awkwardly. Then Kenny grabbed a pedestal and set the laptop on it. A few technician guys walked over and began messing around with it. Then Kenny gave me the thumbs up.
I was so confused and I had no idea what was going on. I turned my sound on, and heard the crowd. They weren’t as loud as I expected. Then Justin began to talk.
“Hey, Em! I know you probably have no idea what’s going on. I got my technicians to hook up my computer so that we could see you on the big screen, and you could hear me well, and we can hear you.” ****. I’m on the big screen.
“Awesome.” I said. I had no idea what else to say.
“Normally I bring a girl on stage and sing to her. And you’re such a nice sport about it.” I smiled and laughed.
“But I thought that since today is your birthday, I’d bring you on stage, virtually, and sing to you.” My smile got even bigger.
“I know this is one of your favorite songs of mine.” A guy brought Justin a guitar and a stool. He sat down beside the computer and began to play and sing “One Less Lonely Girl”. My heart melted.
After the song was over, Justin shouted to his crowd.
“Everyone say ‘Happy Birthday Emma!’” I was surprised, because it sounded like a lot of people said it.
“Thanks everyone!” I shouted back.
“I’m gonna get back to my concert, Em. I’m sorry I can’t be with you on your birthday.”
“It’s ok.”
“See you soon!” He said and blew me a kiss. I said goodbye and blew him one, too. Then Kenny came over, got the laptop and walked backstage.
“See ya Em!” He waved and hung up our video call. I couldn’t keep from smiling the whole night.
I said goodbye to Justin in September as he departed for his tour. I was sad, but I had to get over it. I had one coming up, too. We were going to be away from each other for months. We only had our old standbys; phone calls, texting and skype. We were going to try to make the best of it.
My birthday was in October. Of course I didn’t get to spend it with Justin. He did surprise me with something, however.
At about 8:00pm I got a text from Kenny. He asked if I was available for skype. I didn’t have a concert that night, so I told him yes. I didn’t understand, though… Justin was playing. Who was I going to talk to? Kenny? I laughed at the thought as I sat up my computer on my hotel bed.
Kenny appeared on my screen and said hello. I asked him what was going on.
“Justin wanted you to see something.”
“Why didn’t he tell me about it?”
“You’ll see. Happy Birthday by the way.”
“Thanks.”
“You might want to turn your volume down until I give you the thumbs up.”
“Ok…” I had noticed that he was walking somewhere very dark and the sound wasn’t very good. It was like something was going on in the background. Something very loud. Then it hit me. He was at
Justin’s concert. I quickly imagined Justin doing some horribly dangerous stunt and wondered if I could even make it through watching it without freaking out.
But as Kenny walked out to the stage, he didn’t stop. He kept going. He walked with his laptop all the way to the middle of the stage where Justin was. Justin waved at me and smiled and waved back awkwardly. Then Kenny grabbed a pedestal and set the laptop on it. A few technician guys walked over and began messing around with it. Then Kenny gave me the thumbs up.
I was so confused and I had no idea what was going on. I turned my sound on, and heard the crowd. They weren’t as loud as I expected. Then Justin began to talk.
“Hey, Em! I know you probably have no idea what’s going on. I got my technicians to hook up my computer so that we could see you on the big screen, and you could hear me well, and we can hear you.” ****. I’m on the big screen.
“Awesome.” I said. I had no idea what else to say.
“Normally I bring a girl on stage and sing to her. And you’re such a nice sport about it.” I smiled and laughed.
“But I thought that since today is your birthday, I’d bring you on stage, virtually, and sing to you.” My smile got even bigger.
“I know this is one of your favorite songs of mine.” A guy brought Justin a guitar and a stool. He sat down beside the computer and began to play and sing “One Less Lonely Girl”. My heart melted.
After the song was over, Justin shouted to his crowd.
“Everyone say ‘Happy Birthday Emma!’” I was surprised, because it sounded like a lot of people said it.
“Thanks everyone!” I shouted back.
“I’m gonna get back to my concert, Em. I’m sorry I can’t be with you on your birthday.”
“It’s ok.”
“See you soon!” He said and blew me a kiss. I said goodbye and blew him one, too. Then Kenny came over, got the laptop and walked backstage.
“See ya Em!” He waved and hung up our video call. I couldn’t keep from smiling the whole night.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 13
Two weeks later I was on a flight to Atlanta. Our schedules made our reuniting come a few days later than we expected. Nevertheless, I was excited. Justin really meant the world to me. I couldn’t wait to see him.
Packed away in my bag was a gift I decided to surprise him with. It was a chain with a key on it. I thought it would be a little symbolic, since we had begun dating. I was wearing the chain he gave me before he left the last time. Now we’d both have something to keep us company when we missed each other.
The plane touched down just after 11:00am. Justin’s body guard, Kenny was going to pick me up. I’d arranged that myself. As far as Justin knew, he’d be coming with his bodyguard at 1:00 to come get me. I knew he’d still be asleep when Ken and I arrived to his house. His mom was even in on the surprise. She had tried her best to keep him up as late as possible the night before to ensure that he would sleep through my arrival.
Just as I thought, when Ken and I walked through Justin’s front door that morning, his mom greeted us with, “He’s still asleep.” She smiled a smile that resembled Justin’s sneaky one. She told me to go on up and wake him up.
I crept up the stairs and pushed his door open slowly. Just like the first time I woke him up, he was laying in his bed, tangled up his covers. Deciding that I should probably use a more romantic technique for waking him up this time, I didn’t yell his name. I walked over to him, leaned down, and kissed him on the nose. He grunted and moved his head a little. He is so cute…
My next try was whispering his name in his ear. This caused him to mumble incoherently, and shuffle around. Nothing I was trying was working, so I went for what I thought would definitely wake him up.
I leaned down again, put my hands on his face and kissed his lips. He woke up while our lips were still touching. I felt him jerk awake and then smile into our kiss. I smiled, too.
“Em, what are you doing here? Your flight isn’t supposed to be here until 1:00.” He said, rubbing his eyes as I sat down on his bed.
“That’s what you thought. Kenny picked me up.” I did my best impression of his sneaky little smile.
“You…” He said, smiling the same smile back.
“I got you something.”
“What?” I rustled in my bag and pulled out the box the chain was in. I handed it to him and he opened it. He held the chain up and smiled again.
“A key.”
“Yeah… Well, it’s symbolic.”
“So does this mean I’ve ‘got the key to your heart?’”
“I’m one less lonely girl.” I smiled at the expression on his face.
“Using my own song against me.” He grinned. “I love it, Em.” He let me put the chain around his neck, and then pulled me to him. He kissed me for the second time that day.
“You have no clue how much I’ve missed doing that.” He said when we finally broke apart. I didn’t have time to reply though, before he’d pulled me into another. I didn’t complain. I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t think he was going to, either. Every time I thought we were going to part, he pulled me back with such urgency that I was taken aback. Either he really missed me or he just really wanted to kiss me… for a long time...
I heard footsteps coming up the steps and we finally parted. I was out of breath and so was he… I was also awed by the fact that he was being so daring.
His mom knocked on his open door, and then stepped in.
“Hey guys, what are you doing?” I looked at Justin. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.
“We were just… y’know. Catching up on some things.”
“Oh, ok then. What are you guys going to do today?
“We’ll probably just hang around here or something.”
“Ok, if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs.” She smiled and walked out the door. I looked at Justin. He still had that goofy grin on his face. I couldn’t keep myself from blushing.
“I’ve missed you so much. I’m glad you’re here.” He said, grabbing my hand.
“Me too.” I squeezed his hand.
“You want to go outside?”
“Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Let’s just go for a walk.” He really was romantic.
“Sounds good to me, J.”
We walked around Justin’s house and yard while catching up on what we’d missed with each other.
After we finished, we lay down underneath a big oak tree and watched the clouds.
I looked over at Justin and he looked like he was contemplating something pretty hard. I looked up at the clouds thinking that he was having trouble deciding what a certain one looked like.
“Em?”
“Yeah J?”
“Do you like being with me?” I was caught off-guard.
“Of course! Do you like being with me?”
“Definitely! How do you see us? How do you see our relationship?”
“Uh, well… I know I really care about you. You’re not just my boyfriend, you’re my best friend. I love spending time with you. Even when we’re not doing anything big, like right now. I love knowing that you’re there for me, and that I can call you if I’m dealing with a bad day and you make it so much better, just like that. I love-“
“I love you.” Holy ****. I was frozen. He sat up.
“I know it’s a little soon… but I can’t deny it. It feels right. I’ve never been in love before, but I think this is it… I know this is it.” I was still frozen. My breath had caught and my heart felt like it had stopped. I sat up.
Justin looked anxious and scared. I had to hand it to him. Being honest was hard, especially with the chance of rejection all too real. He wanted me to say something, anything.
“I never thought I’d be here with you like I am today. I never thought we’d be as close as we are. I’ve been so scared of being hurt and hurting others my whole life that I’ve kept myself away from anyone who I thought I could get close to. But you’re different. I couldn’t keep myself from getting to know you, and from developing feelings for you. You’ve turned my world upside down. I never knew I could feel like this about anyone. But I do. I’ve been fighting this and holding this back for a while, but I don’t see why I should.” I paused. Justin was looking right into my eyes and I could feel the goose bumps on the back of my neck.
“I love you, too.” His face immediately broke into a smile and so did mine. He pulled me into another kiss and I was so happy right then that I thought I could never be happier. It felt like a dream.
He tackled me to the ground and kissed every inch of skin on my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with every bit of feeling I had. I wanted him to know I meant what I said. He relaxed his body and fell on top of me. If anyone were to see us, we’d have some explaining to do.
“Hey.” My heart stopped again, but this time it was out of fear. Justin jumped off of me and we both looked in the direction of who was speaking.
Ken was standing a few yards away, smiling.
“I was told to come out here and tell you both that Pattie’s got some food ready, if you want some.” We were both pretty embarrassed and neither of us said a thing.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to answer. I’d be pretty out of breath if I were either of you, too.” He chuckled. “Just be glad it was me and not your momma.” He turned and walked away.
Justin looked at me, still slightly startled. I smiled at him, grabbed his hand and said, “Let’s go eat.”
Packed away in my bag was a gift I decided to surprise him with. It was a chain with a key on it. I thought it would be a little symbolic, since we had begun dating. I was wearing the chain he gave me before he left the last time. Now we’d both have something to keep us company when we missed each other.
The plane touched down just after 11:00am. Justin’s body guard, Kenny was going to pick me up. I’d arranged that myself. As far as Justin knew, he’d be coming with his bodyguard at 1:00 to come get me. I knew he’d still be asleep when Ken and I arrived to his house. His mom was even in on the surprise. She had tried her best to keep him up as late as possible the night before to ensure that he would sleep through my arrival.
Just as I thought, when Ken and I walked through Justin’s front door that morning, his mom greeted us with, “He’s still asleep.” She smiled a smile that resembled Justin’s sneaky one. She told me to go on up and wake him up.
I crept up the stairs and pushed his door open slowly. Just like the first time I woke him up, he was laying in his bed, tangled up his covers. Deciding that I should probably use a more romantic technique for waking him up this time, I didn’t yell his name. I walked over to him, leaned down, and kissed him on the nose. He grunted and moved his head a little. He is so cute…
My next try was whispering his name in his ear. This caused him to mumble incoherently, and shuffle around. Nothing I was trying was working, so I went for what I thought would definitely wake him up.
I leaned down again, put my hands on his face and kissed his lips. He woke up while our lips were still touching. I felt him jerk awake and then smile into our kiss. I smiled, too.
“Em, what are you doing here? Your flight isn’t supposed to be here until 1:00.” He said, rubbing his eyes as I sat down on his bed.
“That’s what you thought. Kenny picked me up.” I did my best impression of his sneaky little smile.
“You…” He said, smiling the same smile back.
“I got you something.”
“What?” I rustled in my bag and pulled out the box the chain was in. I handed it to him and he opened it. He held the chain up and smiled again.
“A key.”
“Yeah… Well, it’s symbolic.”
“So does this mean I’ve ‘got the key to your heart?’”
“I’m one less lonely girl.” I smiled at the expression on his face.
“Using my own song against me.” He grinned. “I love it, Em.” He let me put the chain around his neck, and then pulled me to him. He kissed me for the second time that day.
“You have no clue how much I’ve missed doing that.” He said when we finally broke apart. I didn’t have time to reply though, before he’d pulled me into another. I didn’t complain. I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t think he was going to, either. Every time I thought we were going to part, he pulled me back with such urgency that I was taken aback. Either he really missed me or he just really wanted to kiss me… for a long time...
I heard footsteps coming up the steps and we finally parted. I was out of breath and so was he… I was also awed by the fact that he was being so daring.
His mom knocked on his open door, and then stepped in.
“Hey guys, what are you doing?” I looked at Justin. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.
“We were just… y’know. Catching up on some things.”
“Oh, ok then. What are you guys going to do today?
“We’ll probably just hang around here or something.”
“Ok, if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs.” She smiled and walked out the door. I looked at Justin. He still had that goofy grin on his face. I couldn’t keep myself from blushing.
“I’ve missed you so much. I’m glad you’re here.” He said, grabbing my hand.
“Me too.” I squeezed his hand.
“You want to go outside?”
“Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Let’s just go for a walk.” He really was romantic.
“Sounds good to me, J.”
We walked around Justin’s house and yard while catching up on what we’d missed with each other.
After we finished, we lay down underneath a big oak tree and watched the clouds.
I looked over at Justin and he looked like he was contemplating something pretty hard. I looked up at the clouds thinking that he was having trouble deciding what a certain one looked like.
“Em?”
“Yeah J?”
“Do you like being with me?” I was caught off-guard.
“Of course! Do you like being with me?”
“Definitely! How do you see us? How do you see our relationship?”
“Uh, well… I know I really care about you. You’re not just my boyfriend, you’re my best friend. I love spending time with you. Even when we’re not doing anything big, like right now. I love knowing that you’re there for me, and that I can call you if I’m dealing with a bad day and you make it so much better, just like that. I love-“
“I love you.” Holy ****. I was frozen. He sat up.
“I know it’s a little soon… but I can’t deny it. It feels right. I’ve never been in love before, but I think this is it… I know this is it.” I was still frozen. My breath had caught and my heart felt like it had stopped. I sat up.
Justin looked anxious and scared. I had to hand it to him. Being honest was hard, especially with the chance of rejection all too real. He wanted me to say something, anything.
“I never thought I’d be here with you like I am today. I never thought we’d be as close as we are. I’ve been so scared of being hurt and hurting others my whole life that I’ve kept myself away from anyone who I thought I could get close to. But you’re different. I couldn’t keep myself from getting to know you, and from developing feelings for you. You’ve turned my world upside down. I never knew I could feel like this about anyone. But I do. I’ve been fighting this and holding this back for a while, but I don’t see why I should.” I paused. Justin was looking right into my eyes and I could feel the goose bumps on the back of my neck.
“I love you, too.” His face immediately broke into a smile and so did mine. He pulled me into another kiss and I was so happy right then that I thought I could never be happier. It felt like a dream.
He tackled me to the ground and kissed every inch of skin on my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with every bit of feeling I had. I wanted him to know I meant what I said. He relaxed his body and fell on top of me. If anyone were to see us, we’d have some explaining to do.
“Hey.” My heart stopped again, but this time it was out of fear. Justin jumped off of me and we both looked in the direction of who was speaking.
Ken was standing a few yards away, smiling.
“I was told to come out here and tell you both that Pattie’s got some food ready, if you want some.” We were both pretty embarrassed and neither of us said a thing.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to answer. I’d be pretty out of breath if I were either of you, too.” He chuckled. “Just be glad it was me and not your momma.” He turned and walked away.
Justin looked at me, still slightly startled. I smiled at him, grabbed his hand and said, “Let’s go eat.”
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 12
The next day I watched Justin do his performance scenes, and then we went out to eat. He said that since we were “official”, we needed to go on an official date.
I have to admit, Justin was quite the gentleman. I’d noticed this before, but I suppose that actually being my boyfriend brought it out even more in him. He opened doors for me. He pulled out my chair for me. He was so sweet and I was so glad we were really together.
We ate at a restaurant close by the hotel. People noticed us, and I even saw a few camera flashes. But luckily, the manager arranged for us to eat in a secluded room of the restaurant, so we weren’t bothered. I was worried about what would show up on gossip sites but it was hard to stay that way. Justin distracted me from my worries.
After we finished eating, we came back to the hotel. He said that we should give all the cameras a rest; people had been snapping shots of us all day. I found it really awkward, but I didn’t care. I had Justin, and that was all that mattered.
We didn’t do much that day. But when night came, Justin had an idea.
“You wanna go to the pool?” I looked at the clock. It was 10:00pm.
“Isn’t it a little late? Won’t it be closed?”
“It won’t be closed for us… I have a feeling they’d let us in.” He had that sneaky smile that I’d come to love.
“Alright then, let’s go.”
I was a little worried. This was the first time Justin would see me in something so revealing. I
mentally cursed myself for bringing a bikini instead of a one piece. I was freaking out. I wasn’t a confident person anyway. Add in the fact that the boy whom I cared most for in the world would be seeing me like that for the first time, and I was overcome with nerves. I pulled a t shirt and shorts on and met Justin back at his room.
We got to the pool, and while I waited at the door, Justin talked to the guy at the desk. Just like he said, the guy let us in and turned on the lights.
The pool looked really pretty. It had an ocean view, so it almost felt like we were swimming in it. Justin sat our towels in a chair and took his shirt off. I tried to keep myself calm because the moment
I was dreading was there. He smiled at me and got in the water.
“C’mon, Em! Get in!” I smiled a nervous smile and took my only cover ups off. I probably should have gotten a tan…
I stepped into the pool and Justin swam over to me and put his hands on my waist.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Water’s a little cold I guess.” I could tell he knew better. But instead of drawing attention to my obvious insecurities, he acted like he believed me. He whispered in my ear.
“You look beautiful.” He swam to the other side and beckoned me over. I couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face.
As soon as I got to the other side, he pulled me to him and kissed me gently.
“What was that for?” I asked, smiling.
“I just don’t want to stop doing that now since you’re really mine. I can’t get enough of you.” The butterflies stirred. All I could do was smile back and tag him on the arm.
“Come get me.” I taunted, and then swam off. He chased me down and hugged me from behind, holding my arms to my sides.
“Gotcha. I knew I would, eventually.” He kissed me on the cheek and let go.
Justin and I swam for about an hour before going back up to our rooms. He walked me to my door, came in long enough to say goodnight, and went back to his room. We were being extra careful about giving people things to gossip about now that we were together. That was surely going to be out in a short amount of time. We didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about what we were doing.
The next morning, I was flying back to New York, and Justin to Atlanta. We both had a bunch of things to do in the next few weeks. It was going to be hard to see each other. I worried about that until Justin reassured me that morning at the airport.
“It’ll be ok. ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ Isn’t that what they say? I’ll call you and skype you and text you… it’ll be just like I’m there with you.” I smiled despite what I was feeling.
“I’m going to miss you.” I said, finally looking back up into his eyes.
“You don’t know the half of it.” He grinned and kissed me once again.
“Ok love birds, it’s time for your flight.” Justin’s bodyguard said.
“Whose?”
“Yours.” He answered, pointing at Justin.
Justin looked at me with a sad expression.
“Remember everything I just said. Take this, too.” He handed me one of his chains. This particular one had a chess piece on it. “Anytime you get to missing me, just get it out.” He smiled.
“Thanks.” He pulled me to him once more, kissed me, and then pulled me into a big hug.
“Bye sweetheart.” He let go and walked away with his bodyguard. I couldn’t help but feel a little lost.
I turned around to look out the window to see his plane take off when my phone vibrated in my pocket.
New Text from: Justin
Smile, babe. <3
I did what he said, and locked the message so I couldn’t delete it on accident. I took his chain and put it on. The flight I was going to be on was called over the intercom, so I grabbed my bag and walked away just as Justin’s flight took off.
----
The next few weeks were so hectic. I shot my first music video… well second if you count Justin’s. I was doing so many things that talking to Justin was hard. I found that I missed him even more than I expected. I also wore his chain more than I expected I would.
Just like I thought, Justin’s fansites blew up with the news of our new dating situation. Not all of it was bad, though, and that kept me satisfied. I didn’t really care what people thought to an extent. Most of them were just jealous. None of them really said anything that bothered me. Justin was happy that I wasn’t letting anything they said get to me.
As imagined, I was getting no slack from my band. They reminded me daily how they “told me so” and what an adorable couple Justin and I made. I let it slide, though. I felt much more… happy. I couldn’t explain it. I was more carefree, I was more excited, I was more alive. I had a talk with Billy one night about this exact thing. He said that it was Justin. I think I knew that all along. He promised he wouldn’t tell any of the other guys what I said while we talked, so I confided in him that I thought I was falling for Justin. I also told him how scared that made me. We hadn’t known each other that long, but I couldn’t deny it. He didn’t think I was silly or stupid for thinking that. He just told me that if it felt right, and it was real, I’d know it. Billy was like my psychiatrist.
I finally got to talk to Justin for more than 20 minutes the day after mine and Billy’s talk. He filled me in on what he’d been doing, and I did the same. We looked over our schedules and tried to find a time where we could see each other. The best we could do was in a week and a half, and I couldn’t help but feel a little down. But as always, Justin made me feel better.
“My team said they’ve noticed a difference in me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… they just said they can notice a difference in me since we’re together. They said I’m different, but in a good way. They said it’s like I’m lovesick.” The butterflies took flight with just the mention of the word.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “What do you think?” I paused.
“The band has said the same thing about me. Well, mostly Billy because he’s the only one that would probably understand why I’m acting differently.”
“Awesome.” He said, giggling slightly. “You know I miss you like crazy?”
“I miss you two.” The butterflies were doing laps around my insides.
“I just wish I could kiss you right now.” You’re done for, Em.
I have to admit, Justin was quite the gentleman. I’d noticed this before, but I suppose that actually being my boyfriend brought it out even more in him. He opened doors for me. He pulled out my chair for me. He was so sweet and I was so glad we were really together.
We ate at a restaurant close by the hotel. People noticed us, and I even saw a few camera flashes. But luckily, the manager arranged for us to eat in a secluded room of the restaurant, so we weren’t bothered. I was worried about what would show up on gossip sites but it was hard to stay that way. Justin distracted me from my worries.
After we finished eating, we came back to the hotel. He said that we should give all the cameras a rest; people had been snapping shots of us all day. I found it really awkward, but I didn’t care. I had Justin, and that was all that mattered.
We didn’t do much that day. But when night came, Justin had an idea.
“You wanna go to the pool?” I looked at the clock. It was 10:00pm.
“Isn’t it a little late? Won’t it be closed?”
“It won’t be closed for us… I have a feeling they’d let us in.” He had that sneaky smile that I’d come to love.
“Alright then, let’s go.”
I was a little worried. This was the first time Justin would see me in something so revealing. I
mentally cursed myself for bringing a bikini instead of a one piece. I was freaking out. I wasn’t a confident person anyway. Add in the fact that the boy whom I cared most for in the world would be seeing me like that for the first time, and I was overcome with nerves. I pulled a t shirt and shorts on and met Justin back at his room.
We got to the pool, and while I waited at the door, Justin talked to the guy at the desk. Just like he said, the guy let us in and turned on the lights.
The pool looked really pretty. It had an ocean view, so it almost felt like we were swimming in it. Justin sat our towels in a chair and took his shirt off. I tried to keep myself calm because the moment
I was dreading was there. He smiled at me and got in the water.
“C’mon, Em! Get in!” I smiled a nervous smile and took my only cover ups off. I probably should have gotten a tan…
I stepped into the pool and Justin swam over to me and put his hands on my waist.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Water’s a little cold I guess.” I could tell he knew better. But instead of drawing attention to my obvious insecurities, he acted like he believed me. He whispered in my ear.
“You look beautiful.” He swam to the other side and beckoned me over. I couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face.
As soon as I got to the other side, he pulled me to him and kissed me gently.
“What was that for?” I asked, smiling.
“I just don’t want to stop doing that now since you’re really mine. I can’t get enough of you.” The butterflies stirred. All I could do was smile back and tag him on the arm.
“Come get me.” I taunted, and then swam off. He chased me down and hugged me from behind, holding my arms to my sides.
“Gotcha. I knew I would, eventually.” He kissed me on the cheek and let go.
Justin and I swam for about an hour before going back up to our rooms. He walked me to my door, came in long enough to say goodnight, and went back to his room. We were being extra careful about giving people things to gossip about now that we were together. That was surely going to be out in a short amount of time. We didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about what we were doing.
The next morning, I was flying back to New York, and Justin to Atlanta. We both had a bunch of things to do in the next few weeks. It was going to be hard to see each other. I worried about that until Justin reassured me that morning at the airport.
“It’ll be ok. ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder.’ Isn’t that what they say? I’ll call you and skype you and text you… it’ll be just like I’m there with you.” I smiled despite what I was feeling.
“I’m going to miss you.” I said, finally looking back up into his eyes.
“You don’t know the half of it.” He grinned and kissed me once again.
“Ok love birds, it’s time for your flight.” Justin’s bodyguard said.
“Whose?”
“Yours.” He answered, pointing at Justin.
Justin looked at me with a sad expression.
“Remember everything I just said. Take this, too.” He handed me one of his chains. This particular one had a chess piece on it. “Anytime you get to missing me, just get it out.” He smiled.
“Thanks.” He pulled me to him once more, kissed me, and then pulled me into a big hug.
“Bye sweetheart.” He let go and walked away with his bodyguard. I couldn’t help but feel a little lost.
I turned around to look out the window to see his plane take off when my phone vibrated in my pocket.
New Text from: Justin
Smile, babe. <3
I did what he said, and locked the message so I couldn’t delete it on accident. I took his chain and put it on. The flight I was going to be on was called over the intercom, so I grabbed my bag and walked away just as Justin’s flight took off.
----
The next few weeks were so hectic. I shot my first music video… well second if you count Justin’s. I was doing so many things that talking to Justin was hard. I found that I missed him even more than I expected. I also wore his chain more than I expected I would.
Just like I thought, Justin’s fansites blew up with the news of our new dating situation. Not all of it was bad, though, and that kept me satisfied. I didn’t really care what people thought to an extent. Most of them were just jealous. None of them really said anything that bothered me. Justin was happy that I wasn’t letting anything they said get to me.
As imagined, I was getting no slack from my band. They reminded me daily how they “told me so” and what an adorable couple Justin and I made. I let it slide, though. I felt much more… happy. I couldn’t explain it. I was more carefree, I was more excited, I was more alive. I had a talk with Billy one night about this exact thing. He said that it was Justin. I think I knew that all along. He promised he wouldn’t tell any of the other guys what I said while we talked, so I confided in him that I thought I was falling for Justin. I also told him how scared that made me. We hadn’t known each other that long, but I couldn’t deny it. He didn’t think I was silly or stupid for thinking that. He just told me that if it felt right, and it was real, I’d know it. Billy was like my psychiatrist.
I finally got to talk to Justin for more than 20 minutes the day after mine and Billy’s talk. He filled me in on what he’d been doing, and I did the same. We looked over our schedules and tried to find a time where we could see each other. The best we could do was in a week and a half, and I couldn’t help but feel a little down. But as always, Justin made me feel better.
“My team said they’ve noticed a difference in me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… they just said they can notice a difference in me since we’re together. They said I’m different, but in a good way. They said it’s like I’m lovesick.” The butterflies took flight with just the mention of the word.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “What do you think?” I paused.
“The band has said the same thing about me. Well, mostly Billy because he’s the only one that would probably understand why I’m acting differently.”
“Awesome.” He said, giggling slightly. “You know I miss you like crazy?”
“I miss you two.” The butterflies were doing laps around my insides.
“I just wish I could kiss you right now.” You’re done for, Em.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 10
It had now been a month since our fight, and we hadn’t been better. I tried to deny what I knew was happening between us, but I let myself down occasionally by letting him get away with more flirting than I probably should have. A few more pictures of us had surfaced, and of course some of his fans were upset. On the whole though, there wasn’t as big of an uproar as I thought. This only worsened my situation. I kept thinking, “See? It’s not so bad. We could date and it would be ok…”
Justin and I were meeting on a Wednesday in Nassau to shoot his video. We met at the hotel near the site where we were going to film that day at 12:30. I couldn’t lie. I was excited.
“Hey Em!” Justin said when we finally met up. “This is my director, Ray. He’s gonna tell you about the video.” I shook hands with Ray and he proceeded to tell me about the video.
“We’re going to try to shoot it starting in a few hours. We’re going to do a few shots of the two of you on a boat, and on the beach. Later tonight, near sunset we’re going to try to have you on a cliff overlooking the water. Tomorrow we’ll do most of Justin’s performance shots and maybe some redo’s of the shots we shoot today if I feel they need to be reshot.” I was amazed.
“That sounds really awesome!”
After getting my hair and makeup done, I headed down to the set. I was so nervous. Our first shoot was on a yacht. A yacht! I hoped I wouldn’t mess anything up.
“Here’s our leading lady, fresh and ready to go!” Ray said, motioning towards me when I walked into view. Justin looked up and stared at me for a few moments.
“Wow. You look… amazing.” I blushed. I felt kind of silly being all made up. My hair was wavy and I was wearing some kind of flowy yellow dress. I felt self-conscious, but Justin had already begun to chip away at that. The boat set sail.
“Ok, if I can get you two to come to the edge of the boat here, and we’ll put the music on. I want you to be looking out over the water, Emma. And Justin I want you to come up behind her and put your arms around your waist. I want you to look at her, then she’ll look at you, and you’ll both look back out at the water, got it?” I was a little confused already, but Justin squeezed my hand in reassurance.
It’s a big, big world. It’s easy to get lost in it.
You’ve always been my girl, oh. And I’m not ready to call it quits.
We can make the sunshine in the moonlight. We can make the gray clouds turn to blue skies.
I know it’s hard, baby believe me.
I couldn’t help but feel chemistry between us while we filmed. It felt like we didn’t have to try to look like we were together. The director kept telling us this over and over. Every time he said it, Justin and I would both smile. If only things were easier…
We shot a few beach scenes. Mostly, Justin and I played in the water and sat together just close enough so that the water could tickle our toes. It was starting to get darker by then, so the director hurried us along to the rock cliff.
You could tell that the sun was going to set in a short period of time, and this was the key to the video according to Ray. He wanted to get this shot perfectly. His only directions by this time were to “act as if we were a couple, and that we were all alone.” This alone made me a nervous wreck, but I had to concentrate if we were going to get this scene right.
They placed us to where the sunset on the water was completely visible. It was very romantic… I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t enjoying sharing this with Justin. Ray had the music turned on and we began to film.
Baby we were underground, we’re on the surface now
We’re gonna make it girl, I promise.
If you believe in love, and you believe in us,
We can go nowhere but up.
Justin had gotten very close to me. He was singing and looking directly into my eyes. His right hand was on my neck and his left was on my face. The wind was blowing gently enough to rustle our hair just the slightest bit. He got closer and closer to me and I could feel my heartbeat racing. Out of instinct I closed my eyes. I could feel his breath on face. This was it… This was happening.
“CUT!” I jerked my eyes open. I felt like we had been interrupted. I had forgotten what we were doing. Justin looked as if he felt the same way. “Guys… that was amazing. That looked so believable. I can’t wait until we can get this video finished so we can see the final product. That’s a wrap for tonight, guys!” Ray began to gather everyone up and proceed back down the cliff with all of their equipment.
I looked at Justin and he looked at me. I couldn’t stop my heart from feeling like it was beating out of my chest. “Shall we go back to the hotel?” I asked. I needed to calm down.
“No… let’s go somewhere else. Somewhere private.” There was no calming down now.
Justin convinced his body guard to leave us in a little secluded section of rock on the beach, but only if he could stay just out of earshot. We sat down in the sand and I immediately began to fidget.
“Have you had a good time filming?” He asked, glancing at me.
“Oh yeah, it was great.” I was trying to think of something to say to divert the conversation if he brought up what I thought he was going to.
“Ray thinks we have great chemistry.”
“Yeah.”
“What do you think?” I paused for a moment before answering. I chose what I said carefully.
“I think we do, too. It must be where we’re so close and we feel comfortable enough to act that way with each other. We know we don’t have to worry.”
“About what?”
“Giving each other the wrong idea…” I looked and saw his face drop. He tried to recover quickly.
“Well, I agree with him, too. I don’t think just any two people could do that like we did.” I stayed silent.
“I think there IS something between us. This video was the first time we’ve acted on it willingly. I think it’s proof.”
“Proof of what?” My heart was racing again.
“Proof that we’ve got it. There’s something between us that we both want to act on, but we’re too scared. This was proof that it could work. That it’s really there.” I looked into his eyes.
“I can’t try to hide my feelings for you anymore, Em. It’s getting harder and harder everyday that I’m around you. You bring out something in me that I’ve never known. You make me feel like I can’t even describe. I’ve never felt like this before. Not for any other girl. I may not have known you for very long, but I know it… I know what I’m feeling is real.” The butterflies were reappearing again…
“Please, Emma. Just give us a chance. Just for one day. I promise, you’ll see it, too.”
“Justin, I-“
“Don’t say no, Em. Please. Just give us a chance.”
“I can’t.”
“Kiss me right now. Kiss me and tell me you don’t feel what I feel.” I looked at him and before I could answer he had pulled my face to his. His lips touched mine and the most wonderful, warm feeling seemed to burst through my entire body. His hand was on the back of my head, ensuring that our lips didn’t part.
I let go of myself. I let myself live in that moment. I let us be us. I let my feelings escape me. I kissed him back, with the same amount of force. We parted and he looked into my eyes, his breathing a little quicker than before.
“Did you feel that?” He asked, searching me for any sign of emotion. I didn’t speak. Instead, I pulled him back to me and kissed him again. I don’t know why I did that. It felt so right, and that was my only explanation. Everything about Justin felt right. Being with Justin felt right.
When we finally parted again he had a smile on his face.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” I couldn’t help but smile back.
“So what does this mean?” I looked out at the ocean.
“What do you want it to mean?” I asked.
“Well, I’d love for it to mean that we can be together. I want that. I know you do, too.” I pondered for a moment.
“You won’t break my heart and leave it for the entire world to see and talk about how I was never good enough for you and I got what I deserved?” He looked surprised. He grabbed my hands.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I care far too much about you to do that.” I smiled at him.
“Then I guess you’ve got yourself a girlfriend, Mr. Bieber.” He smiled back, bit his lip, and brought my lips to his once more.
We didn’t know it then, but behind a rock, Justin’s body guard had turned around just in time to witness our last kiss, and smiled.
“Finally.”
Justin and I were meeting on a Wednesday in Nassau to shoot his video. We met at the hotel near the site where we were going to film that day at 12:30. I couldn’t lie. I was excited.
“Hey Em!” Justin said when we finally met up. “This is my director, Ray. He’s gonna tell you about the video.” I shook hands with Ray and he proceeded to tell me about the video.
“We’re going to try to shoot it starting in a few hours. We’re going to do a few shots of the two of you on a boat, and on the beach. Later tonight, near sunset we’re going to try to have you on a cliff overlooking the water. Tomorrow we’ll do most of Justin’s performance shots and maybe some redo’s of the shots we shoot today if I feel they need to be reshot.” I was amazed.
“That sounds really awesome!”
After getting my hair and makeup done, I headed down to the set. I was so nervous. Our first shoot was on a yacht. A yacht! I hoped I wouldn’t mess anything up.
“Here’s our leading lady, fresh and ready to go!” Ray said, motioning towards me when I walked into view. Justin looked up and stared at me for a few moments.
“Wow. You look… amazing.” I blushed. I felt kind of silly being all made up. My hair was wavy and I was wearing some kind of flowy yellow dress. I felt self-conscious, but Justin had already begun to chip away at that. The boat set sail.
“Ok, if I can get you two to come to the edge of the boat here, and we’ll put the music on. I want you to be looking out over the water, Emma. And Justin I want you to come up behind her and put your arms around your waist. I want you to look at her, then she’ll look at you, and you’ll both look back out at the water, got it?” I was a little confused already, but Justin squeezed my hand in reassurance.
It’s a big, big world. It’s easy to get lost in it.
You’ve always been my girl, oh. And I’m not ready to call it quits.
We can make the sunshine in the moonlight. We can make the gray clouds turn to blue skies.
I know it’s hard, baby believe me.
I couldn’t help but feel chemistry between us while we filmed. It felt like we didn’t have to try to look like we were together. The director kept telling us this over and over. Every time he said it, Justin and I would both smile. If only things were easier…
We shot a few beach scenes. Mostly, Justin and I played in the water and sat together just close enough so that the water could tickle our toes. It was starting to get darker by then, so the director hurried us along to the rock cliff.
You could tell that the sun was going to set in a short period of time, and this was the key to the video according to Ray. He wanted to get this shot perfectly. His only directions by this time were to “act as if we were a couple, and that we were all alone.” This alone made me a nervous wreck, but I had to concentrate if we were going to get this scene right.
They placed us to where the sunset on the water was completely visible. It was very romantic… I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t enjoying sharing this with Justin. Ray had the music turned on and we began to film.
Baby we were underground, we’re on the surface now
We’re gonna make it girl, I promise.
If you believe in love, and you believe in us,
We can go nowhere but up.
Justin had gotten very close to me. He was singing and looking directly into my eyes. His right hand was on my neck and his left was on my face. The wind was blowing gently enough to rustle our hair just the slightest bit. He got closer and closer to me and I could feel my heartbeat racing. Out of instinct I closed my eyes. I could feel his breath on face. This was it… This was happening.
“CUT!” I jerked my eyes open. I felt like we had been interrupted. I had forgotten what we were doing. Justin looked as if he felt the same way. “Guys… that was amazing. That looked so believable. I can’t wait until we can get this video finished so we can see the final product. That’s a wrap for tonight, guys!” Ray began to gather everyone up and proceed back down the cliff with all of their equipment.
I looked at Justin and he looked at me. I couldn’t stop my heart from feeling like it was beating out of my chest. “Shall we go back to the hotel?” I asked. I needed to calm down.
“No… let’s go somewhere else. Somewhere private.” There was no calming down now.
Justin convinced his body guard to leave us in a little secluded section of rock on the beach, but only if he could stay just out of earshot. We sat down in the sand and I immediately began to fidget.
“Have you had a good time filming?” He asked, glancing at me.
“Oh yeah, it was great.” I was trying to think of something to say to divert the conversation if he brought up what I thought he was going to.
“Ray thinks we have great chemistry.”
“Yeah.”
“What do you think?” I paused for a moment before answering. I chose what I said carefully.
“I think we do, too. It must be where we’re so close and we feel comfortable enough to act that way with each other. We know we don’t have to worry.”
“About what?”
“Giving each other the wrong idea…” I looked and saw his face drop. He tried to recover quickly.
“Well, I agree with him, too. I don’t think just any two people could do that like we did.” I stayed silent.
“I think there IS something between us. This video was the first time we’ve acted on it willingly. I think it’s proof.”
“Proof of what?” My heart was racing again.
“Proof that we’ve got it. There’s something between us that we both want to act on, but we’re too scared. This was proof that it could work. That it’s really there.” I looked into his eyes.
“I can’t try to hide my feelings for you anymore, Em. It’s getting harder and harder everyday that I’m around you. You bring out something in me that I’ve never known. You make me feel like I can’t even describe. I’ve never felt like this before. Not for any other girl. I may not have known you for very long, but I know it… I know what I’m feeling is real.” The butterflies were reappearing again…
“Please, Emma. Just give us a chance. Just for one day. I promise, you’ll see it, too.”
“Justin, I-“
“Don’t say no, Em. Please. Just give us a chance.”
“I can’t.”
“Kiss me right now. Kiss me and tell me you don’t feel what I feel.” I looked at him and before I could answer he had pulled my face to his. His lips touched mine and the most wonderful, warm feeling seemed to burst through my entire body. His hand was on the back of my head, ensuring that our lips didn’t part.
I let go of myself. I let myself live in that moment. I let us be us. I let my feelings escape me. I kissed him back, with the same amount of force. We parted and he looked into my eyes, his breathing a little quicker than before.
“Did you feel that?” He asked, searching me for any sign of emotion. I didn’t speak. Instead, I pulled him back to me and kissed him again. I don’t know why I did that. It felt so right, and that was my only explanation. Everything about Justin felt right. Being with Justin felt right.
When we finally parted again he had a smile on his face.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” I couldn’t help but smile back.
“So what does this mean?” I looked out at the ocean.
“What do you want it to mean?” I asked.
“Well, I’d love for it to mean that we can be together. I want that. I know you do, too.” I pondered for a moment.
“You won’t break my heart and leave it for the entire world to see and talk about how I was never good enough for you and I got what I deserved?” He looked surprised. He grabbed my hands.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I care far too much about you to do that.” I smiled at him.
“Then I guess you’ve got yourself a girlfriend, Mr. Bieber.” He smiled back, bit his lip, and brought my lips to his once more.
We didn’t know it then, but behind a rock, Justin’s body guard had turned around just in time to witness our last kiss, and smiled.
“Finally.”
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 9
Together Justin and I rushed to the mall and got there just in time for me to go on. He squeezed my hand and said that he’d be watching from the side so he wouldn’t cause a scene. I met up with the band and went on stage.
The performance was going well. Every once in a while I would look over at Justin to see him smiling and singing along. I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot.
It creeps in like a spider
Can't be killed, although I try and try to
Well, don't you see I'm falling?
Don't wanna love you, but I do…
As I performed one of my older songs, I felt a strange feeling come over me. It made me tingle in my fingers and lose concentration. Was I really falling for him? Shut up Emma and keep playing. Don’t let him distract you.
Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me, no
You won't get to me 'cause I won't sing.
I looked at him again, thinking to myself that if I looked and didn’t feel the butterflies, then I had nothing to worry about. He winked and smiled and I could feel the butterflies tearing through my insides like Godzilla in Tokyo. Houston…I think I’ve got a problem.
After my performance, I went backstage. Justin greeted me with a hug.
“You killed out there, Em.”
“Thanks.” I felt so awkward. I knew I had feelings for him. But now… now I’d admitted to myself just how strong these feelings were becoming. It was scaring the hell out of me. My natural defense of course was to act like a complete idiot.
“Hey, you want to go back to my house? We can mess around or whatever you want to do.” I could do nothing but look at him. “Em… you ok?”
“Oh, oh yeah. Totally. I’m fine. Back to your house?”
“Yes…”
“Ok.”
The ride to his house was just as awkward. You need to get yourself together, Em. When we finally got to his house, we went up to his room after greeting his mom.
“Em, I forgot to ask! You want to be in a music video with me?”
“Huh?”
“I’m going to be shooting a video for my new single, and I was just wondering if you wanted to be
my leading lady.”
“Uhh, I guess so. I haven’t even made a music video yet.”
“It’s good practice. If you mess up at least it will be in my video and not your own.” He poked my arm jokingly. I smiled.
“I guess you’re right. When are you filming this video?”
“In a week.”
“Did you plan that on purpose?” He knew my days off.
“Yeah. I was really hoping you’d say yes.” I smiled even bigger.
“Well that’s cool. Where are we filming?”
“The Bahamas.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah. Well, I’ve been down there a few times, and I’ve actually shot a video down there before. But the director had a great idea for this song, and he thinks the Bahamas are a great place for it. I get to pick the main girls in the videos and I couldn’t think of a better choice than you.” Wow. Cut it out, butterlifes.
“Awesome. What song?”
“’Up’. I can’t wait for you to hear the treatment for the video. You’re going to love it.” I smiled. I just couldn’t quit doing that it seemed.
“You want to go outside and watch my basketball skills in action?”
“Of course, Justin. How could I say no to that?”
The performance was going well. Every once in a while I would look over at Justin to see him smiling and singing along. I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot.
It creeps in like a spider
Can't be killed, although I try and try to
Well, don't you see I'm falling?
Don't wanna love you, but I do…
As I performed one of my older songs, I felt a strange feeling come over me. It made me tingle in my fingers and lose concentration. Was I really falling for him? Shut up Emma and keep playing. Don’t let him distract you.
Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me, no
You won't get to me 'cause I won't sing.
I looked at him again, thinking to myself that if I looked and didn’t feel the butterflies, then I had nothing to worry about. He winked and smiled and I could feel the butterflies tearing through my insides like Godzilla in Tokyo. Houston…I think I’ve got a problem.
After my performance, I went backstage. Justin greeted me with a hug.
“You killed out there, Em.”
“Thanks.” I felt so awkward. I knew I had feelings for him. But now… now I’d admitted to myself just how strong these feelings were becoming. It was scaring the hell out of me. My natural defense of course was to act like a complete idiot.
“Hey, you want to go back to my house? We can mess around or whatever you want to do.” I could do nothing but look at him. “Em… you ok?”
“Oh, oh yeah. Totally. I’m fine. Back to your house?”
“Yes…”
“Ok.”
The ride to his house was just as awkward. You need to get yourself together, Em. When we finally got to his house, we went up to his room after greeting his mom.
“Em, I forgot to ask! You want to be in a music video with me?”
“Huh?”
“I’m going to be shooting a video for my new single, and I was just wondering if you wanted to be
my leading lady.”
“Uhh, I guess so. I haven’t even made a music video yet.”
“It’s good practice. If you mess up at least it will be in my video and not your own.” He poked my arm jokingly. I smiled.
“I guess you’re right. When are you filming this video?”
“In a week.”
“Did you plan that on purpose?” He knew my days off.
“Yeah. I was really hoping you’d say yes.” I smiled even bigger.
“Well that’s cool. Where are we filming?”
“The Bahamas.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah. Well, I’ve been down there a few times, and I’ve actually shot a video down there before. But the director had a great idea for this song, and he thinks the Bahamas are a great place for it. I get to pick the main girls in the videos and I couldn’t think of a better choice than you.” Wow. Cut it out, butterlifes.
“Awesome. What song?”
“’Up’. I can’t wait for you to hear the treatment for the video. You’re going to love it.” I smiled. I just couldn’t quit doing that it seemed.
“You want to go outside and watch my basketball skills in action?”
“Of course, Justin. How could I say no to that?”
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 8
We went downstairs after I didn’t look like I’d been crying. His mom fixed pizza bread and French fries. She sat down with us at the table once we’d gotten all of our food.
“Emma, I finally get to talk to you!” I smiled.
“Yeah, I finally get to talk to you, too! I’m ready to see those embarrassing photos of Justin.” He looked up at us while putting a fry in his mouth and froze.
“What?!” His Mom and I laughed.
“Don’t you worry about it.” His mom said, patting him on the head. He looked a little disgruntled, but continued eating. His Mom and I continued talking.
She asked me about where I was from, how I’d liked my job so far, and what I liked to do for fun.
We talked about Justin, especially when he was little, which got a few groans from our object of conversation.
----
I left at about 11:00 that night. Justin had begged Charlotte to let me stay at his house, but she said it wasn’t a very good idea from a manager’s standpoint. “I, as well as your mother, don’t want any crazy rumors starting about the two of you,” she’d said. There was no arguing with her. I promised him I’d come back the next day, though.
I had another performance that day. This time, at a mall. I was getting ready in my hotel room when my band knocked at the door.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, walking back over to my curling iron. They looked nervous.
“Em, we found something on the internet a little bit ago, and we wanted to show you before anyone else did.” My stomach dropped.
“What did you find?” Ryan grabbed my computer and began to type. About a minute later, he pulled up an article on a celebrity gossip site.
“Has Justin Bieber found his ‘Favorite Girl’?”
Recently, Justin Bieber tweeted this picture of himself and aspiring singer, Emma Evans. The photo was taken at Emma’s debut album release party a few weeks ago. At first, this photo only caused the expected disruption with the teen sensation’s fans. But now with new information, celebgossipworld.com may have bad news for all the “Beliebers”. Our sources tell us that at the party, Justin and Emma were very close, and hardly ever left each others’ sides. These sources also informed us that the two are together quite frequently as well. Does this mean that Justin is taken? The folks here at celebgossipworld.com will be the first to let you know if information presents itself.
I stared at the screen after I finished reading it. We weren’t even dating and people were already talking!
“It’s probably no big deal though, Em.” Jake said, trying to reassure me. “These places post things like this all the time, whether they’re true or not. We just wanted to show this to you in case you get asked about it or something.”
“Oh my gosh… I wonder if Justin knows about this.” I already knew what I wanted to do before I finished the sentence. I also neglected to tell my band mates where I was going before I started pulling my shoes on.
“Where are you going?” Charlie asked.
“I’m going to see Justin.”
“Give him a kiss for me.” Billy shouted after me.
I managed to get to Justin’s a lot quicker than I had expected. I was worried that his mom would be angry that I showed up uninvited, but when she answered the door, she smiled.
“Hello Emma! Come in.” I followed her in the house. I didn’t see Justin anywhere.
“Justin’s still asleep. It’s his day off.”
“Do you care if I go wake him up? It’s kind of important.”
“Oh no, go right ahead. Is it anything bad?” She had to have been used to all the gossip already, so I told her no and ran up the stairs.
I pulled Justin’s door open and walked towards his bed. There was a lump underneath the covers that I guessed was him. “Justin. Wake up.” I shook him.
“Mom… no… just give a few more minutes…” He rolled over a little and I could see his face better. His hair, despite its usual near-perfection, was messy and all over the place. His eyes were scrunched up just a bit. He looked adorable. There’s no time for this Em.
“Justin, this is Emma. Get up, it’s important.”
“You’re not Emma, Mom. Go away.” He waved an arm around non-coherently.
“Justin.” I shook him harder and he opened his eyes. “I’m not your Momma.” His eyes flashed open.
“Em! What are you doing here?”
“I’ve got something to show you. Where’s your computer?”
“On my dresser…Why? Em… this really isn’t a great time for me right now.” I was unconcerned with why this wasn’t a good time. I was freaking out. “Hey, Em… do you think you could go outside for a second?”
“Why?” I had no time for this.
“I need to put some pants on.” I stopped what I was doing. Oh this isn’t awkward at all.
“Uh… yeah.” I got up and walked out the door. I could feel how hot my face was. Luckily, less than a minute later he opened his door and motioned me back in.
“What are you showing me?” He asked, looking sleepy, yet concerned. I showed him the page.
“I don’t understand.”
“What? They think we’re dating, J!”
“And…” How could he not understand the importance of this?
“People are going to start talking about it more. They’re going to start ‘We hate Emma’ clubs. I’m telling you… this isn’t good.”
“Emma. Listen. I know you worry about this. I don’t really blame you. Your career is just starting up. But people talk. We can’t change that. We’ve just got to let them say what they want. If it’s true, if it’s not true, it doesn’t make a difference. This isn’t something crazy. They don’t think you do anything bad. They’re not saying you’re on drugs. They’re saying you’re dating me. Which could be like doing a drug, I guess…” He smiled his signature smile and I couldn’t help but feel better.
“Very funny.”
“Don’t you have a performance today?”
“Yeah, I do. I really need to get going.” I stood up.
“Hey… I’ll come down and watch it.” I looked at him curiously. “I’d like to see you perform again. And besides… if they’re already talking it won’t hurt. Let’s give them something else to gossip about.” He smiled and looked at me for a moment.
“You look really pretty, by the way. I like your hair like that,” he said nonchalantly while grabbing his phone and a hat. He really had a way of making things so much better without really trying. At that moment I couldn’t tell whether it was a gift of his, or if it was just those damn butterflies.
“Emma, I finally get to talk to you!” I smiled.
“Yeah, I finally get to talk to you, too! I’m ready to see those embarrassing photos of Justin.” He looked up at us while putting a fry in his mouth and froze.
“What?!” His Mom and I laughed.
“Don’t you worry about it.” His mom said, patting him on the head. He looked a little disgruntled, but continued eating. His Mom and I continued talking.
She asked me about where I was from, how I’d liked my job so far, and what I liked to do for fun.
We talked about Justin, especially when he was little, which got a few groans from our object of conversation.
----
I left at about 11:00 that night. Justin had begged Charlotte to let me stay at his house, but she said it wasn’t a very good idea from a manager’s standpoint. “I, as well as your mother, don’t want any crazy rumors starting about the two of you,” she’d said. There was no arguing with her. I promised him I’d come back the next day, though.
I had another performance that day. This time, at a mall. I was getting ready in my hotel room when my band knocked at the door.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, walking back over to my curling iron. They looked nervous.
“Em, we found something on the internet a little bit ago, and we wanted to show you before anyone else did.” My stomach dropped.
“What did you find?” Ryan grabbed my computer and began to type. About a minute later, he pulled up an article on a celebrity gossip site.
“Has Justin Bieber found his ‘Favorite Girl’?”
Recently, Justin Bieber tweeted this picture of himself and aspiring singer, Emma Evans. The photo was taken at Emma’s debut album release party a few weeks ago. At first, this photo only caused the expected disruption with the teen sensation’s fans. But now with new information, celebgossipworld.com may have bad news for all the “Beliebers”. Our sources tell us that at the party, Justin and Emma were very close, and hardly ever left each others’ sides. These sources also informed us that the two are together quite frequently as well. Does this mean that Justin is taken? The folks here at celebgossipworld.com will be the first to let you know if information presents itself.
I stared at the screen after I finished reading it. We weren’t even dating and people were already talking!
“It’s probably no big deal though, Em.” Jake said, trying to reassure me. “These places post things like this all the time, whether they’re true or not. We just wanted to show this to you in case you get asked about it or something.”
“Oh my gosh… I wonder if Justin knows about this.” I already knew what I wanted to do before I finished the sentence. I also neglected to tell my band mates where I was going before I started pulling my shoes on.
“Where are you going?” Charlie asked.
“I’m going to see Justin.”
“Give him a kiss for me.” Billy shouted after me.
I managed to get to Justin’s a lot quicker than I had expected. I was worried that his mom would be angry that I showed up uninvited, but when she answered the door, she smiled.
“Hello Emma! Come in.” I followed her in the house. I didn’t see Justin anywhere.
“Justin’s still asleep. It’s his day off.”
“Do you care if I go wake him up? It’s kind of important.”
“Oh no, go right ahead. Is it anything bad?” She had to have been used to all the gossip already, so I told her no and ran up the stairs.
I pulled Justin’s door open and walked towards his bed. There was a lump underneath the covers that I guessed was him. “Justin. Wake up.” I shook him.
“Mom… no… just give a few more minutes…” He rolled over a little and I could see his face better. His hair, despite its usual near-perfection, was messy and all over the place. His eyes were scrunched up just a bit. He looked adorable. There’s no time for this Em.
“Justin, this is Emma. Get up, it’s important.”
“You’re not Emma, Mom. Go away.” He waved an arm around non-coherently.
“Justin.” I shook him harder and he opened his eyes. “I’m not your Momma.” His eyes flashed open.
“Em! What are you doing here?”
“I’ve got something to show you. Where’s your computer?”
“On my dresser…Why? Em… this really isn’t a great time for me right now.” I was unconcerned with why this wasn’t a good time. I was freaking out. “Hey, Em… do you think you could go outside for a second?”
“Why?” I had no time for this.
“I need to put some pants on.” I stopped what I was doing. Oh this isn’t awkward at all.
“Uh… yeah.” I got up and walked out the door. I could feel how hot my face was. Luckily, less than a minute later he opened his door and motioned me back in.
“What are you showing me?” He asked, looking sleepy, yet concerned. I showed him the page.
“I don’t understand.”
“What? They think we’re dating, J!”
“And…” How could he not understand the importance of this?
“People are going to start talking about it more. They’re going to start ‘We hate Emma’ clubs. I’m telling you… this isn’t good.”
“Emma. Listen. I know you worry about this. I don’t really blame you. Your career is just starting up. But people talk. We can’t change that. We’ve just got to let them say what they want. If it’s true, if it’s not true, it doesn’t make a difference. This isn’t something crazy. They don’t think you do anything bad. They’re not saying you’re on drugs. They’re saying you’re dating me. Which could be like doing a drug, I guess…” He smiled his signature smile and I couldn’t help but feel better.
“Very funny.”
“Don’t you have a performance today?”
“Yeah, I do. I really need to get going.” I stood up.
“Hey… I’ll come down and watch it.” I looked at him curiously. “I’d like to see you perform again. And besides… if they’re already talking it won’t hurt. Let’s give them something else to gossip about.” He smiled and looked at me for a moment.
“You look really pretty, by the way. I like your hair like that,” he said nonchalantly while grabbing his phone and a hat. He really had a way of making things so much better without really trying. At that moment I couldn’t tell whether it was a gift of his, or if it was just those damn butterflies.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 7
When I got home that night, I went straight to my room and laid down on my bed. Justin never texted or called. That only worsened my mood. So all night I laid there, thinking. Had Justin been right about me? I’ll admit, I had feelings for him. I’d been pushing them away because I knew it could never work. I guess I had been in denial. Justin was a great guy, no doubt about that. I felt closer to him than I’d felt to anyone in a long time. He was there when I needed cheering up. He confided in me, and I did the same to him. I just didn’t understand how what happened that night had happened. We were doing just fine. Why did it end that way?
I was so overwhelmed that I fell asleep in the clothes I wore to the party.
The next morning, I checked my phone and Justin still hadn’t called or texted. I became worried that he was really mad at me, so I decided to call him. Just as I picked my phone up, there was a knock at my door. I ran to it and looked out, and saw Justin. I opened the door and just stood there, looking at him.
He looked at me, too. We stood there for a few more seconds before I finally couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Justin…I’m sorry.” He half-smiled and walked in.
I was waiting on pins and needles for his reply. Please don’t let him be mad at me…
“Emma… I’m sorry. Last night was my fault. I keep trying to push you into this, when you don’t want to.”
“J… you know it’s more complicated than that.”
“Yeah, I do. But that’s what it comes down to. You essentially don’t want to be with me, and I can’t help that. So I’ll just have to accept it.” I looked at him. He didn’t look happy. He looked as if he was trying to force himself to do something he didn’t want to do. I couldn’t stand to see him like that.
“Just so you know… you were right.” He looked up at me.
“About what?”
“I do have feelings for you, J. I’ve been trying to keep it locked up inside. I knew it all along, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’m sorry for that.” He didn’t say anything.
“Look… Justin I don’t want our friendship to end because of this.”
“It won’t. I’m not like that.” I felt a little bit of relief.
“So we’re still friends?”
“Of course we are.” He smiled at me then pulled me into a hug. I gripped at his shirt and hugged him so tightly that my arms felt strained. I could smell the cologne he was wearing. It didn’t hide what I knew to be his smell. I liked it better than his cologne.
“So, what are your activities for the day?” I asked when we finally broke apart.
“I’m leaving for Atlanta tonight. I don’t know what I’m doing until then.”
“Would you like to hang out here?”
“Sure.” He smiled.
Justin and I didn’t do much that day, other than lay around and watch t.v. He showed me a picture from the night before of the two of us that his friend Dan took without us knowing. In the photo, we were sitting on a couch. He was looking at me, with a laughing smile on his face and I was laughing too. My right hand was on his knee, and his left hand was centimeters away from mine. The picture really made me think. Would it be so bad if we dated? I have a good time with him, and I feel comfortable with him. I really did like him, no matter what I tried to tell myself. Isn’t that all that matters?
“I put this on twitter earlier.” Justin said, grabbing my computer and logging onto his account.
“What? You put that picture up?”
“Yeah. That’s not a problem, is it?” I was hoping it wouldn’t be.
“No, I guess not. Did anyone say anything about it?”
“Let me check, hold on.” He scrolled to the picture and clicked it. There were three pages of comments in all. On the first page alone there were mixed reviews. One said, “She’s very pretty! Go Justin!” I smiled at that one. But as he continued to scroll I saw some that made my stomach churn.
“Who is that even? I’ve never heard of her. Get rid of that Justin, you’re too good for her.” “Why is Justin with this girl? Who is she?”
“Don’t pay attention to those.” Justin said. I still felt uneasy.
“That’s why, Justin. That’s why we can’t be together.” He sighed.
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
----
I wasn’t going to be seeing Justin for two weeks, so when we said goodbye that night, it was a little gloomy. We were both still on edge after our fight, and things hadn’t been right since. I knew it was bothering him, but it was bothering me, too. I couldn’t think of a solution I liked, though, and neither could he. So we dealt with it the best we could.
Since my album came out, I’d been traveling more than before. I was doing little acoustic sets and signings to try to promote my music. That was why I was going to see Justin at all. Our schedules were both becoming so busy that there was hardly anytime at all to spend with each other. I was going to Atlanta to do some press and such, and I was thankful. I missed him, and I wanted to make things better between us, no matter how hard it was.
I arrived in Atlanta at about 10:00 in the morning. I was going to play a set at a popular music store, and sign autographs afterwards. I’d signed quite a few autographs since my first ones the night of my album release. My fan-base was growing, and I loved it.
The set I played was uneventful in a good way; no one messed anything up too badly. The signing was only about an hour long. As soon as that was over, I headed towards Justin’s. I was becoming a nervous wreck the closer we got to his house. We had texted pretty briefly since the last time I saw him, and only talked on the phone twice. This was the reason I was nervous. I felt like we were fighting still.
My car pulled up to Justin’s at about 3:00. The sun was shining and it was so hot outside that I could see the heat waves on the asphalt. I got out of the car and was making my way up to the door when it opened and I jumped.
“Emma! Hello!” It was Justin’s mom. I’d only met her twice before, so I was a little shy. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
“Come on in. Justin’s in his room if you’d like to head on up stairs. I’ve got some food in the oven and
it’ll be ready in a little bit.”
“Thanks a lot, Pattie.” I smiled at her. She was so sweet. She had the same smile as Justin.
I walked upstairs and saw Justin’s door immediately. He had a hockey poster taped up, as well as a sign that said, “Justin’s Room, Beware” and some other random pictures. I walked towards his door which was slightly ajar, and knocked softly.
“Come in.” I pushed the door open and found Justin sitting on his bed with his guitar in hand. “Hello.”
“Hey.” I tried my best to smile. Something between us sill felt distant. “Justin, listen. I-“
“Before you say anything, I want you to hear this song I’m working on.” I wanted to protest, but he looked pretty serious.
“Ok, go ahead.”
He began to strum on his guitar, and sing.
With you…
With you…
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Now Romeo & Juliet
Bet they never felt the way we felt
Bonnie & Clyde
Never had to hide like we do, we do
You and I, both know it can't work
It's all fun and games
'Til someone gets hurt
And I don't,
I won't let that be you
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
Now we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
Cause I know you can't love me
Hey
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was our destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don't care
I got you baby
See we both
Fightin' every inch of our fiber
‘Cause ain’t no way it's gonna end right but
We are both too foolish to stop
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
And we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me
Hey
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like
Just because this cold, cold world saying we can't be
Baby we both have the right to disagree
And I ain't with it
And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Reminiscing 'bout these better days
But convention's telling us to let go
So we'll never know
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeah
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
He finished playing and looked back up at me. I could feel tears trying to escape and a knot in my throat, but I held back. I guess my silence scared him, because he sat the guitar against his bed and said, “I wrote that for you. For us, I guess.”
“That’s what I thought.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Did you like it?”
“Of course I did.” He smiled. I smiled. Then he hugged me.
“I’ve missed you.” I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore.
“I’ve missed you, too.” We pulled apart and he looked at me. He took his thumb and wiped my tears away and then kissed my forehead. It was wonderful, but torture all the same.
I was so overwhelmed that I fell asleep in the clothes I wore to the party.
The next morning, I checked my phone and Justin still hadn’t called or texted. I became worried that he was really mad at me, so I decided to call him. Just as I picked my phone up, there was a knock at my door. I ran to it and looked out, and saw Justin. I opened the door and just stood there, looking at him.
He looked at me, too. We stood there for a few more seconds before I finally couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Justin…I’m sorry.” He half-smiled and walked in.
I was waiting on pins and needles for his reply. Please don’t let him be mad at me…
“Emma… I’m sorry. Last night was my fault. I keep trying to push you into this, when you don’t want to.”
“J… you know it’s more complicated than that.”
“Yeah, I do. But that’s what it comes down to. You essentially don’t want to be with me, and I can’t help that. So I’ll just have to accept it.” I looked at him. He didn’t look happy. He looked as if he was trying to force himself to do something he didn’t want to do. I couldn’t stand to see him like that.
“Just so you know… you were right.” He looked up at me.
“About what?”
“I do have feelings for you, J. I’ve been trying to keep it locked up inside. I knew it all along, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’m sorry for that.” He didn’t say anything.
“Look… Justin I don’t want our friendship to end because of this.”
“It won’t. I’m not like that.” I felt a little bit of relief.
“So we’re still friends?”
“Of course we are.” He smiled at me then pulled me into a hug. I gripped at his shirt and hugged him so tightly that my arms felt strained. I could smell the cologne he was wearing. It didn’t hide what I knew to be his smell. I liked it better than his cologne.
“So, what are your activities for the day?” I asked when we finally broke apart.
“I’m leaving for Atlanta tonight. I don’t know what I’m doing until then.”
“Would you like to hang out here?”
“Sure.” He smiled.
Justin and I didn’t do much that day, other than lay around and watch t.v. He showed me a picture from the night before of the two of us that his friend Dan took without us knowing. In the photo, we were sitting on a couch. He was looking at me, with a laughing smile on his face and I was laughing too. My right hand was on his knee, and his left hand was centimeters away from mine. The picture really made me think. Would it be so bad if we dated? I have a good time with him, and I feel comfortable with him. I really did like him, no matter what I tried to tell myself. Isn’t that all that matters?
“I put this on twitter earlier.” Justin said, grabbing my computer and logging onto his account.
“What? You put that picture up?”
“Yeah. That’s not a problem, is it?” I was hoping it wouldn’t be.
“No, I guess not. Did anyone say anything about it?”
“Let me check, hold on.” He scrolled to the picture and clicked it. There were three pages of comments in all. On the first page alone there were mixed reviews. One said, “She’s very pretty! Go Justin!” I smiled at that one. But as he continued to scroll I saw some that made my stomach churn.
“Who is that even? I’ve never heard of her. Get rid of that Justin, you’re too good for her.” “Why is Justin with this girl? Who is she?”
“Don’t pay attention to those.” Justin said. I still felt uneasy.
“That’s why, Justin. That’s why we can’t be together.” He sighed.
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
----
I wasn’t going to be seeing Justin for two weeks, so when we said goodbye that night, it was a little gloomy. We were both still on edge after our fight, and things hadn’t been right since. I knew it was bothering him, but it was bothering me, too. I couldn’t think of a solution I liked, though, and neither could he. So we dealt with it the best we could.
Since my album came out, I’d been traveling more than before. I was doing little acoustic sets and signings to try to promote my music. That was why I was going to see Justin at all. Our schedules were both becoming so busy that there was hardly anytime at all to spend with each other. I was going to Atlanta to do some press and such, and I was thankful. I missed him, and I wanted to make things better between us, no matter how hard it was.
I arrived in Atlanta at about 10:00 in the morning. I was going to play a set at a popular music store, and sign autographs afterwards. I’d signed quite a few autographs since my first ones the night of my album release. My fan-base was growing, and I loved it.
The set I played was uneventful in a good way; no one messed anything up too badly. The signing was only about an hour long. As soon as that was over, I headed towards Justin’s. I was becoming a nervous wreck the closer we got to his house. We had texted pretty briefly since the last time I saw him, and only talked on the phone twice. This was the reason I was nervous. I felt like we were fighting still.
My car pulled up to Justin’s at about 3:00. The sun was shining and it was so hot outside that I could see the heat waves on the asphalt. I got out of the car and was making my way up to the door when it opened and I jumped.
“Emma! Hello!” It was Justin’s mom. I’d only met her twice before, so I was a little shy. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
“Come on in. Justin’s in his room if you’d like to head on up stairs. I’ve got some food in the oven and
it’ll be ready in a little bit.”
“Thanks a lot, Pattie.” I smiled at her. She was so sweet. She had the same smile as Justin.
I walked upstairs and saw Justin’s door immediately. He had a hockey poster taped up, as well as a sign that said, “Justin’s Room, Beware” and some other random pictures. I walked towards his door which was slightly ajar, and knocked softly.
“Come in.” I pushed the door open and found Justin sitting on his bed with his guitar in hand. “Hello.”
“Hey.” I tried my best to smile. Something between us sill felt distant. “Justin, listen. I-“
“Before you say anything, I want you to hear this song I’m working on.” I wanted to protest, but he looked pretty serious.
“Ok, go ahead.”
He began to strum on his guitar, and sing.
With you…
With you…
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Now Romeo & Juliet
Bet they never felt the way we felt
Bonnie & Clyde
Never had to hide like we do, we do
You and I, both know it can't work
It's all fun and games
'Til someone gets hurt
And I don't,
I won't let that be you
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
Now we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
Cause I know you can't love me
Hey
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was our destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don't care
I got you baby
See we both
Fightin' every inch of our fiber
‘Cause ain’t no way it's gonna end right but
We are both too foolish to stop
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
That there might be something real between us two
Who knew
And we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me
Hey
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like
Just because this cold, cold world saying we can't be
Baby we both have the right to disagree
And I ain't with it
And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Reminiscing 'bout these better days
But convention's telling us to let go
So we'll never know
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeah
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
He finished playing and looked back up at me. I could feel tears trying to escape and a knot in my throat, but I held back. I guess my silence scared him, because he sat the guitar against his bed and said, “I wrote that for you. For us, I guess.”
“That’s what I thought.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Did you like it?”
“Of course I did.” He smiled. I smiled. Then he hugged me.
“I’ve missed you.” I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore.
“I’ve missed you, too.” We pulled apart and he looked at me. He took his thumb and wiped my tears away and then kissed my forehead. It was wonderful, but torture all the same.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 6
The night was amazing. The food that was served was great. Our performances were even going pretty well, which surprised me. I thought I was too nervous to sing.
All of the night’s festivities were about to come to an end when Billy got up on stage and walked to a microphone. I was severely confused. We hadn’t rehearsed anything else…
“Hey everybody! I’m Billy, and I play guitar for Emma.” The crowd applauded him. “Thanks. Emma didn’t know this was happening. We planned this as a little surprise for her, because she’s been working so hard lately and she really deserves something special.”
I glanced at Charlotte, who just smiled. She was in on this.
“If you will please, welcome a very close friend of Emma’s to the stage… Justin Bieber.” I gasped.
What was going on?
Justin walked on stage with a guitar to a huge round of applause and cheers. He sat down on a stool and pulled the microphone down so he could talk.
“I’m here because Emma’s band told me she’d been stressing out about this release pretty bad, and being the awesome friend I am, I got in on this with them. When Emma and I met and hung out for the first time, we watched a really embarrassing video of me when I was younger singing a song. I know it’s one of her favorites, so I agreed to perform it for her. So this is ‘With You’.”
Justin began to play, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. I was going to have to hit him really hard when he got done.
After the song was over and the crowd was done applauding for Justin, he spoke again.
“That’s not all.” He smiled. I saw my band walk from side-stage holding what looked like a big plaque. “Em’s band and I decided that since the album came out today, she deserved her own, special copy.” They turned the plaque around and revealed a giant version of the cover of my album, as well as the actual C.D.
“Are you gonna come up here and get it, or what?” Billy asked. I walked up on stage and the audience applauded. As I got a closer look at my gift, I noticed that it said, “To the best front-woman and friend any five guys can have. Love, Jake, Ryan, Charlie, Billy, and Justin.” I was really touched.
“Thanks guys,” I said smiling from ear to ear. I hugged them all and together we walked off-stage.
Justin hung around until pretty much everyone was gone.
“Hey Emma, we’ll be out front if you need us.” Ryan said, walking with the rest of my band and leaving Justin and I alone.
“Ok, I’ll be out there in a few minutes.” I looked at Justin. “Listen, I want to thank you again for what you guys did tonight. It really meant a lot to me.”
“No problem, shawty.” I giggled. “What?”
“I just think it’s funny when you call me ‘shawty’.” He smiled.
“I guess.” Things seemed to get a million times quieter. “Em, can we talk?”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“Em, I’m being serious.” He smiled despite the seriousness of his statement.
“Ok, shoot.”
“I know I bring this up a lot, but I’ve got to try again.” I knew what was coming.
“Justin…”
“Em, I like you. I have since I met you. I really think we’d be great together.”
“Justin, we’ve been over this, about a trillion times,” I said, trying to ignore the awakening butterflies in my stomach.
“Please. Just give us a chance.”
“No, J. We can’t.”
“Why not?!” He sounded angry.
“Because! I’m too old for you.”
“I see the way you look at me, Emma. I’m not stupid. I know you feel the same way about me. You just won’t give us a chance. You keep lying to yourself and trying to deny how you feel because you’re afraid of what everyone else thinks. Guess what? They don’t matter. The only thing that matters is US. I could fall in love with you Emma. And I think you could fall in love with me, too. PLEASE. Just give us a chance.” He was right. But I couldn’t. This was too risky.
I felt so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry. I turned away from him and began to walk away. I couldn’t let him see me cry.
“Emma!” He grabbed my arm and spun me around. He looked into my eyes with so much intensity that I could feel the heat radiating from him. Within a split second, his lips had met mine and my breath caught in my chest. I was letting this go way too far. I pulled away.
“Justin… we can’t do this…” Tears began to fall silently down my cheeks.
“Emma, I know you feel it too! You can’t deny how you feel anymore. That kiss was special. I KNOW you feel the same way. Please Em, please!” He was almost shouting.
“I’ve got to leave.” I ran out front. Ryan turned around first, and the rest followed.
“Whoa, Em, what’s up?” Jake asked.
“I’m leaving. I’ll see you guys later.” And with that, I ran outside, climbed into the back of the SUV I came in, and began to cry even harder.
All of the night’s festivities were about to come to an end when Billy got up on stage and walked to a microphone. I was severely confused. We hadn’t rehearsed anything else…
“Hey everybody! I’m Billy, and I play guitar for Emma.” The crowd applauded him. “Thanks. Emma didn’t know this was happening. We planned this as a little surprise for her, because she’s been working so hard lately and she really deserves something special.”
I glanced at Charlotte, who just smiled. She was in on this.
“If you will please, welcome a very close friend of Emma’s to the stage… Justin Bieber.” I gasped.
What was going on?
Justin walked on stage with a guitar to a huge round of applause and cheers. He sat down on a stool and pulled the microphone down so he could talk.
“I’m here because Emma’s band told me she’d been stressing out about this release pretty bad, and being the awesome friend I am, I got in on this with them. When Emma and I met and hung out for the first time, we watched a really embarrassing video of me when I was younger singing a song. I know it’s one of her favorites, so I agreed to perform it for her. So this is ‘With You’.”
Justin began to play, and I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. I was going to have to hit him really hard when he got done.
After the song was over and the crowd was done applauding for Justin, he spoke again.
“That’s not all.” He smiled. I saw my band walk from side-stage holding what looked like a big plaque. “Em’s band and I decided that since the album came out today, she deserved her own, special copy.” They turned the plaque around and revealed a giant version of the cover of my album, as well as the actual C.D.
“Are you gonna come up here and get it, or what?” Billy asked. I walked up on stage and the audience applauded. As I got a closer look at my gift, I noticed that it said, “To the best front-woman and friend any five guys can have. Love, Jake, Ryan, Charlie, Billy, and Justin.” I was really touched.
“Thanks guys,” I said smiling from ear to ear. I hugged them all and together we walked off-stage.
Justin hung around until pretty much everyone was gone.
“Hey Emma, we’ll be out front if you need us.” Ryan said, walking with the rest of my band and leaving Justin and I alone.
“Ok, I’ll be out there in a few minutes.” I looked at Justin. “Listen, I want to thank you again for what you guys did tonight. It really meant a lot to me.”
“No problem, shawty.” I giggled. “What?”
“I just think it’s funny when you call me ‘shawty’.” He smiled.
“I guess.” Things seemed to get a million times quieter. “Em, can we talk?”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“Em, I’m being serious.” He smiled despite the seriousness of his statement.
“Ok, shoot.”
“I know I bring this up a lot, but I’ve got to try again.” I knew what was coming.
“Justin…”
“Em, I like you. I have since I met you. I really think we’d be great together.”
“Justin, we’ve been over this, about a trillion times,” I said, trying to ignore the awakening butterflies in my stomach.
“Please. Just give us a chance.”
“No, J. We can’t.”
“Why not?!” He sounded angry.
“Because! I’m too old for you.”
“I see the way you look at me, Emma. I’m not stupid. I know you feel the same way about me. You just won’t give us a chance. You keep lying to yourself and trying to deny how you feel because you’re afraid of what everyone else thinks. Guess what? They don’t matter. The only thing that matters is US. I could fall in love with you Emma. And I think you could fall in love with me, too. PLEASE. Just give us a chance.” He was right. But I couldn’t. This was too risky.
I felt so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry. I turned away from him and began to walk away. I couldn’t let him see me cry.
“Emma!” He grabbed my arm and spun me around. He looked into my eyes with so much intensity that I could feel the heat radiating from him. Within a split second, his lips had met mine and my breath caught in my chest. I was letting this go way too far. I pulled away.
“Justin… we can’t do this…” Tears began to fall silently down my cheeks.
“Emma, I know you feel it too! You can’t deny how you feel anymore. That kiss was special. I KNOW you feel the same way. Please Em, please!” He was almost shouting.
“I’ve got to leave.” I ran out front. Ryan turned around first, and the rest followed.
“Whoa, Em, what’s up?” Jake asked.
“I’m leaving. I’ll see you guys later.” And with that, I ran outside, climbed into the back of the SUV I came in, and began to cry even harder.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 5
Another busy week was in progress for me. It had been about a week since I saw Justin last. But for him, that was just a reason to find more ways to talk to me. Not only was he calling me and texting me. He convinced me to get a twitter AND skype account. I was a little iffy on the twitter account… There were more than 3 million people following him. And I knew the moment that he mentioned me, a great majority of those people would be viewing my twitter saying, “Who is this girl?! What is she doing talking to Justin?!” But, for some reason, I did it anyway.
I was rehearsing with my band one Monday night when my phone vibrated. It was Justin.
From: Justin
Hey, can you skype right now?
I thought to myself. We’d been rehearsing for two hours. Charlie was twirling his drum sticks around in his fingers. Jake and Ryan were throwing guitar picks back and forth at each other. I wasn’t sure where Billy was.
New text message to: Justin
Yeah, sure. Give me a few minutes. : )
I went to my laptop and opened it up. I signed into Skype and waited.
New Call from justbiebs!
I answered. After I did, I immediately started laughing. Justin had a pair of giant sunglasses on, and was making the silliest face I’d ever seen.
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m talking to you, of course.” He laughed.
“Well take those off, I can’t take you seriously like that,” I said, still giggling.
“Oh my gosh, is that Justin?!” I heard Billy say. I turned around.
“Yes, where have you- Ohhhh.” Billy’s hands were full of junk food.
“Let me talk to him!” He ran over and stood behind me, and waved at Justin. “Hey little dude, how’s
life?”
“Life’s good man, I’m just missing that beautiful face of yours.”
“He means me, Em. Not you. Quit smiling like that. Don’t be jealous.”
“I know he was talking to you!” I defended.
“Yeah… sure. I bet you thought he was talking to you. Gonna go write that in your diary?” The whole
band was standing beside Billy now.
“I hate you, William,” I said to Billy, laughing. No matter how hard my guys were on me, I knew they were joking.
“Well, fine. Be that way. We’ll all leave you alone so you can have your little special video chat with your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
“I don’t know what you just said. It sounded like a lie to me.” Jake added. “See ya, Justin.”
“Bye Justin!” The other guys said together.
“See you guys,” he replied smiling. I still felt a little flustered.
“See, Em? They think we should date.” I sighed.
“Justin we’ve been over this.”
“Fine. Deny it all you want.” He smiled his trademark smile.
“So to what do I owe this specific pleasure of seeing you tonight?”
“I just wanted to make sure our plans for your release party are still good.”
“Yeah, as far as I know. We’ve been rehearsing like crazy. I’m so nervous J.” I really was. When I thought about it, those butterflies stirred again in my stomach.
“You’ll do great sweetheart, don’t worry about it. So I’m flying in that morning, and the party is at 7:00, right?”
“Thanks, and yes.”
“Great. You know I miss you, right?”
“Yes. You tell me that quite often, dear.”
“Just making sure you know it. I’ve got to get going. I get to do some rehearsals now.”
“Rehearsals for what?” I asked curiously.
“You’ll see.” There’s that smile again.
“Ok then.”
“Well, I’ll text you sometime soon.”
“You say that every time we say goodbye.”
“Ok, let’s do something else then. I’ve got it.”
“Huh?”
“Just say goodbye.”
“Ok…Goodbye Justin.”
“Goodbye Emma.” He blew a kiss. I don’t even think I have a reaction for this. It’s not one I’d like to deal with right now, anyway. I stared at him.
“Don’t I get one back?”
“I suppose so.” I blew him a kiss back.
“That’s better.” He blew another kiss and ended the video call. I don’t know what I’m going to do with that boy.
----
“Jake. JAKE. Where the hell are my shoes?”
“How am I supposed to know, Em? You live here, not me.”
“Well can you please help me look?”
“What shoes are you even looking for?”
“My black converses!”
“Low or Hi-tops?”
“Low!” I was freaking out. Tonight was my album release party. My band had come over to help me get ready. The rest of the guys were playing video games, but Jake was still trying to get ready like me.
“I’ve got ‘em!” He shouted from my room.
“Where were they?”
“Underneath your bed.” I walked into my room and grabbed my shoes from Jake and hopped around trying to put them on.
“Are you ready yet?” I asked Jake.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I’ll be ready in just a few minutes. Do I look ok?” I said, looking into my mirror. I really hoped my hair didn’t go crazy and bush out.
“You look fine, Em. I’m going to go out here with the guys. Just come out when you’re ready.” He walked out my door and shut it behind him.
“I don’t know about these shorts with this shirt. I look like a big bumblebee.” I said to myself. I was really starting to feel the nerves so I decided to text Justin. I had a feeling his comforting words would do wonders.
To: Justin
I’m so nervous, J. : (
A few minutes later, he replied.
From: Justin
Don’t worry sweetheart, tonight will be great!
I was right. I felt a little calmer. I checked my reflection one more time and then made my way out of my door. This was going to be a nerve-wracking night.
At 6:30, my band Charlotte (of course) and I arrived at Club Smash, where my release party was taking place. To my surprise, I saw a good number of fans I didn’t know I had outside.
“Emma! We love you!” Wow… real fans!
“I love you guys, too!” I said as I walked by them.
“Can we get some autographs?”
“Absolutely!” Wow… my first autograph! I signed their copies of my album and went inside. So far, this night was already crazy just because of them.
There were people all over the place. The club was dark, but there were purple and green lights flashing hung all over. A picture of my album cover was on a giant screen on the stage. I couldn’t believe all of this was just for me and my band.
“Holy…”
“My thoughts exactly, Em!” Ryan said. Just then I felt a pair of hands grab my waist. I spun around.
“Hey sweetheart!” It was Justin. I felt even more excited.
“Justin! I just signed my first autograph!” He giggled.
“I told you fans would be here, didn’t I?” He was right.
I was rehearsing with my band one Monday night when my phone vibrated. It was Justin.
From: Justin
Hey, can you skype right now?
I thought to myself. We’d been rehearsing for two hours. Charlie was twirling his drum sticks around in his fingers. Jake and Ryan were throwing guitar picks back and forth at each other. I wasn’t sure where Billy was.
New text message to: Justin
Yeah, sure. Give me a few minutes. : )
I went to my laptop and opened it up. I signed into Skype and waited.
New Call from justbiebs!
I answered. After I did, I immediately started laughing. Justin had a pair of giant sunglasses on, and was making the silliest face I’d ever seen.
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m talking to you, of course.” He laughed.
“Well take those off, I can’t take you seriously like that,” I said, still giggling.
“Oh my gosh, is that Justin?!” I heard Billy say. I turned around.
“Yes, where have you- Ohhhh.” Billy’s hands were full of junk food.
“Let me talk to him!” He ran over and stood behind me, and waved at Justin. “Hey little dude, how’s
life?”
“Life’s good man, I’m just missing that beautiful face of yours.”
“He means me, Em. Not you. Quit smiling like that. Don’t be jealous.”
“I know he was talking to you!” I defended.
“Yeah… sure. I bet you thought he was talking to you. Gonna go write that in your diary?” The whole
band was standing beside Billy now.
“I hate you, William,” I said to Billy, laughing. No matter how hard my guys were on me, I knew they were joking.
“Well, fine. Be that way. We’ll all leave you alone so you can have your little special video chat with your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
“I don’t know what you just said. It sounded like a lie to me.” Jake added. “See ya, Justin.”
“Bye Justin!” The other guys said together.
“See you guys,” he replied smiling. I still felt a little flustered.
“See, Em? They think we should date.” I sighed.
“Justin we’ve been over this.”
“Fine. Deny it all you want.” He smiled his trademark smile.
“So to what do I owe this specific pleasure of seeing you tonight?”
“I just wanted to make sure our plans for your release party are still good.”
“Yeah, as far as I know. We’ve been rehearsing like crazy. I’m so nervous J.” I really was. When I thought about it, those butterflies stirred again in my stomach.
“You’ll do great sweetheart, don’t worry about it. So I’m flying in that morning, and the party is at 7:00, right?”
“Thanks, and yes.”
“Great. You know I miss you, right?”
“Yes. You tell me that quite often, dear.”
“Just making sure you know it. I’ve got to get going. I get to do some rehearsals now.”
“Rehearsals for what?” I asked curiously.
“You’ll see.” There’s that smile again.
“Ok then.”
“Well, I’ll text you sometime soon.”
“You say that every time we say goodbye.”
“Ok, let’s do something else then. I’ve got it.”
“Huh?”
“Just say goodbye.”
“Ok…Goodbye Justin.”
“Goodbye Emma.” He blew a kiss. I don’t even think I have a reaction for this. It’s not one I’d like to deal with right now, anyway. I stared at him.
“Don’t I get one back?”
“I suppose so.” I blew him a kiss back.
“That’s better.” He blew another kiss and ended the video call. I don’t know what I’m going to do with that boy.
----
“Jake. JAKE. Where the hell are my shoes?”
“How am I supposed to know, Em? You live here, not me.”
“Well can you please help me look?”
“What shoes are you even looking for?”
“My black converses!”
“Low or Hi-tops?”
“Low!” I was freaking out. Tonight was my album release party. My band had come over to help me get ready. The rest of the guys were playing video games, but Jake was still trying to get ready like me.
“I’ve got ‘em!” He shouted from my room.
“Where were they?”
“Underneath your bed.” I walked into my room and grabbed my shoes from Jake and hopped around trying to put them on.
“Are you ready yet?” I asked Jake.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I’ll be ready in just a few minutes. Do I look ok?” I said, looking into my mirror. I really hoped my hair didn’t go crazy and bush out.
“You look fine, Em. I’m going to go out here with the guys. Just come out when you’re ready.” He walked out my door and shut it behind him.
“I don’t know about these shorts with this shirt. I look like a big bumblebee.” I said to myself. I was really starting to feel the nerves so I decided to text Justin. I had a feeling his comforting words would do wonders.
To: Justin
I’m so nervous, J. : (
A few minutes later, he replied.
From: Justin
Don’t worry sweetheart, tonight will be great!
I was right. I felt a little calmer. I checked my reflection one more time and then made my way out of my door. This was going to be a nerve-wracking night.
At 6:30, my band Charlotte (of course) and I arrived at Club Smash, where my release party was taking place. To my surprise, I saw a good number of fans I didn’t know I had outside.
“Emma! We love you!” Wow… real fans!
“I love you guys, too!” I said as I walked by them.
“Can we get some autographs?”
“Absolutely!” Wow… my first autograph! I signed their copies of my album and went inside. So far, this night was already crazy just because of them.
There were people all over the place. The club was dark, but there were purple and green lights flashing hung all over. A picture of my album cover was on a giant screen on the stage. I couldn’t believe all of this was just for me and my band.
“Holy…”
“My thoughts exactly, Em!” Ryan said. Just then I felt a pair of hands grab my waist. I spun around.
“Hey sweetheart!” It was Justin. I felt even more excited.
“Justin! I just signed my first autograph!” He giggled.
“I told you fans would be here, didn’t I?” He was right.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 4
The next morning I woke up drooling on my pillow. Slightly disgusted, I rose up and looked around, trying to wake up before going to take a shower. I looked at my bedside table to see a light blinking on my phone. I had a text message.
“I wonder how long this thing’s been blinking…” I said to myself.
*New Text from Justin*
9:27am
I glanced at my clock to see that it was 9:43am. At least it’s not too long after he texted.
From: Justin
9:27am
Good morning beautiful
I stared at my phone for a moment making sure I’d read that correctly. After all, I was still half awake.
“Beautiful? Man, this kid’s got a flirting problem.”
New Message to: Justin
Hey Justin, what’s happenin’?
I hit send and went into the bathroom for my shower. I had just stepped in when my phone rang.
“What is it with people calling me when I’m in the shower?!” Fully expecting to see Charlotte’s name on my caller ID, I glanced at it.
Incoming call…
Justin
Surprised, I answered. “Hello?”
“Hey Emma, what’s up?” He asked. Thinking about how flirty he was, I decided not to tell him I was in the shower.
“Oh, not much… How about you?”
“I’m taking a break in rehearsals. Listen, I just found out I’ve got a few free days this week. I was wondering if you wanted to do anything.”
“Sure, what did you have in mind?”
“Well, I thought maybe I could take you out to dinner, we could see a movie, you know something like that.”
“Justin, that sounds an awful lot like a date.”
“Yeah… What’s wrong with that?” Oh jeeze, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get into this. Especially not while standing butt-naked.
“Justin… I’m too old for you.”
“No you’re not! You’re just three years older than me! That’s not bad. Nobody cares anyway. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right?” He sure was arguing his case.
“Yeah, but Justin…people will care. For one thing, your fans will care. Your fans will care a whole damn lot. I’ll get death threats. The press will go crazy, too. They’ll be all like, ‘New untalented singer uses Justin Bieber to get famous.’ I’m not down for that.” I was arguing mine, too.
“Em, it won’t be like that. For one thing, my fans won’t send you death threats-“
“HA!”
“Ok…so you’ll get a few in the beginning-“
“More like a few thousand…”
“But I’ll tell ‘em to quit and they will! If they’re really my fans they’ll be happy for me. And I don’t care what the press says, and you shouldn’t either. You’re very talented. You don’t need my help.” I smiled despite myself.
“All of that may be true, but really… I’m still too old for you.”
“C’mon, Em…” He was pleading. You’re making me feel like ****, Bieber.
“Justin…”
“Well, at least hang out with me. It doesn’t have to be a date. Let’s just chill and get to know each other better. THEN you can decide if you want to date me or not.” He doesn’t give up, does he?
“Fine. But I’m not going to date you, Justin Bieber.”
“We’ll see.” I knew he was smiling that same smile… “I’ll text you soon, ok?”
“Alright.”
“Bye Em.”
“Bye.”
I was already starting to prune up and I hadn’t even showered yet. So I hurried up with that and finished getting ready. I had nothing to do that day, so I decided I’d go mess around with my guitar a little bit. I knew I had a busy week ahead of me, and the best thing I could do was try to relax a little before it got too hectic.
----
The next few days went by in quite a whirl. I was doing interviews, more photo shoots, and preparing for the release of my album in less than a month. If I didn’t love performing so much I don’t know if I’d have stuck with it.
Friday finally rolled around. Justin was going to be back in New York and we were going to see each other that night. I was happy to see him, but I was still a little cautious. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I couldn’t date him. I was hoping he would understand.
That night at 6:00, we were to meet each other at Alesandro’s, a little restaurant that according to Justin was “really good, and no one will see us there.” I was thankful for that. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the paparazzi stuff just yet.
I walked in the restaurant a little cautiously, afraid that some camera lens would pop up right in my face. To my relief, though, there wasn’t a single photographer in sight. I looked around the room and finally spotted Justin towards the back sitting at a table for two.
The restaurant was actually very beautiful. There were faux grape vines hanging on trellises that lined some of the walls. There were photographs on the walls that appeared to be very old. Italian music was playing in the whole place. The food HAS to be good here.
I walked over to Justin and he stood up. What a gentleman.
“Hey, Emma, you look beautiful.” I had a feeling he was going a little far with the “beautiful” comment. I wasn’t wearing anything special.
“Thanks, Justin. You’re lookin’ pretty handsome yourself.” He did. He had a green button-up on with black pants. I don’t think it was his clothes, but he looked a little more mature. Maybe it was the setting.
“Thanks,” he said as he held out my chair for me to sit down. He sat down, too.
“What do you think of this place?” He asked.
“I think it’s beautiful. Italian food is my favorite.”
“Awesome. The food here is great. I don’t understand why people don’t come in here that much.” He began scanning his menu.
“Oh, so you’ve brought other girls in here, have you?” He looked at me startled.
“Oh, no! Just Mom. She likes Italian food too, so we found this place on accident one night.” I smiled at him.
“I was just giving you a hard time.”
“Oh…”
We ordered and our food came not too long after. We talked about everything, just like the first time we talked. I noticed once again how easy it was for me to talk to Justin. He listened, too. He gave me advice about how to deal with fame. He told me stories about him when he was younger. We really connected, and to be honest, it scared me.
After dinner, we were sort of at a loss for something to do next.
“We can’t go anywhere. It’s because of me, I’m sorry,” he said. I gave him a smile to let him know that it was no biggie.
“It’s cool. We can just go by my place. No one really knows me yet so I doubt they’ll be anyone out.”
“What do you wanna do?”
“Well, I guess we could watch a movie.”
“Sounds good.” He smiled the cutest smile I’d seen. Hey, WHOA sister, cut that out. This kid is SIXTEEN. I quickly snapped myself back to reality and we walked outside to get a cab.
We arrived at my building and we rushed inside just in case anyone saw him. When we got to my apartment, we started debating on a movie.
“You like Will Ferrell?” I asked.
“Yeah, of course. What movies of his do you have?”
“Pretty much all of them. You got a favorite?”
“’Anchorman,’ definitely.”
“That works for me,” I said, getting the case out and setting the movie up.
I couldn’t help but laugh at Justin watching the movie. When what I imagine were his favorite parts would come up, he’d mouth the line and then laugh like he’d never seen the movie before. His laugh was contagious. The more he laughed, the more I did.
A scene that was a little, shall we say, “racy” came up and I quickly realized just how close Justin was sitting next to me. It was so awkward. When it finally ended, though, it went back to just the way it was before, with Justin laughing and me joining in.
It was getting late, and I knew he would have to leave soon. So when the movie finished, he turned to me and smiled.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothin’.”
“Ok…”
“I’m going to have to leave in a few minutes. I know my body guard’s going to be texting me soon and telling me he’s on his way up. That’s cool right?”
“Oh yeah, whatever you need to do.”
“I had a good time with you today.” I could feel the heat in my face rise.
“I had a good time today, too.”
“Promise me we’ll get to do it again.”
“Ok. But only for you, I don’t really like promises.”
“Why’s that?” He asked, looking slightly surprised.
“Promises tend to get broken, and I’d hate to do that to you.”
“Hey, brighten up sunshine. We’ll hang out again. You can pinky promise me. If you break the promise, I won’t be mad. I just get your pinky.” I giggled.
“Ok then.” We pinky promised and then his phone went off.
“He’s on his way up now.”
“Oh.” We sat in silence for a few minutes just looking at each other. Occasionally, he’d fake-punch my leg and I’d fake-punch his back. Then his body guard finally knocked at the door. Justin got up and looked through the peep-hole.
“Yep, that’s him.”
“Alright.” I got up and walked over to the door.
“I’ll be texting you, ok? Calling you, too. I don’t know when my next days off are exactly, but I know
I’ll be able to see you.”
“Sounds good to me Just.”
“Awesome.” He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back. “I’ll see you, ok?”
“Ok. Bye Justin.” He was smiling at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.
He winked, and was out the door.
“I wonder how long this thing’s been blinking…” I said to myself.
*New Text from Justin*
9:27am
I glanced at my clock to see that it was 9:43am. At least it’s not too long after he texted.
From: Justin
9:27am
Good morning beautiful
I stared at my phone for a moment making sure I’d read that correctly. After all, I was still half awake.
“Beautiful? Man, this kid’s got a flirting problem.”
New Message to: Justin
Hey Justin, what’s happenin’?
I hit send and went into the bathroom for my shower. I had just stepped in when my phone rang.
“What is it with people calling me when I’m in the shower?!” Fully expecting to see Charlotte’s name on my caller ID, I glanced at it.
Incoming call…
Justin
Surprised, I answered. “Hello?”
“Hey Emma, what’s up?” He asked. Thinking about how flirty he was, I decided not to tell him I was in the shower.
“Oh, not much… How about you?”
“I’m taking a break in rehearsals. Listen, I just found out I’ve got a few free days this week. I was wondering if you wanted to do anything.”
“Sure, what did you have in mind?”
“Well, I thought maybe I could take you out to dinner, we could see a movie, you know something like that.”
“Justin, that sounds an awful lot like a date.”
“Yeah… What’s wrong with that?” Oh jeeze, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get into this. Especially not while standing butt-naked.
“Justin… I’m too old for you.”
“No you’re not! You’re just three years older than me! That’s not bad. Nobody cares anyway. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, right?” He sure was arguing his case.
“Yeah, but Justin…people will care. For one thing, your fans will care. Your fans will care a whole damn lot. I’ll get death threats. The press will go crazy, too. They’ll be all like, ‘New untalented singer uses Justin Bieber to get famous.’ I’m not down for that.” I was arguing mine, too.
“Em, it won’t be like that. For one thing, my fans won’t send you death threats-“
“HA!”
“Ok…so you’ll get a few in the beginning-“
“More like a few thousand…”
“But I’ll tell ‘em to quit and they will! If they’re really my fans they’ll be happy for me. And I don’t care what the press says, and you shouldn’t either. You’re very talented. You don’t need my help.” I smiled despite myself.
“All of that may be true, but really… I’m still too old for you.”
“C’mon, Em…” He was pleading. You’re making me feel like ****, Bieber.
“Justin…”
“Well, at least hang out with me. It doesn’t have to be a date. Let’s just chill and get to know each other better. THEN you can decide if you want to date me or not.” He doesn’t give up, does he?
“Fine. But I’m not going to date you, Justin Bieber.”
“We’ll see.” I knew he was smiling that same smile… “I’ll text you soon, ok?”
“Alright.”
“Bye Em.”
“Bye.”
I was already starting to prune up and I hadn’t even showered yet. So I hurried up with that and finished getting ready. I had nothing to do that day, so I decided I’d go mess around with my guitar a little bit. I knew I had a busy week ahead of me, and the best thing I could do was try to relax a little before it got too hectic.
----
The next few days went by in quite a whirl. I was doing interviews, more photo shoots, and preparing for the release of my album in less than a month. If I didn’t love performing so much I don’t know if I’d have stuck with it.
Friday finally rolled around. Justin was going to be back in New York and we were going to see each other that night. I was happy to see him, but I was still a little cautious. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I couldn’t date him. I was hoping he would understand.
That night at 6:00, we were to meet each other at Alesandro’s, a little restaurant that according to Justin was “really good, and no one will see us there.” I was thankful for that. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the paparazzi stuff just yet.
I walked in the restaurant a little cautiously, afraid that some camera lens would pop up right in my face. To my relief, though, there wasn’t a single photographer in sight. I looked around the room and finally spotted Justin towards the back sitting at a table for two.
The restaurant was actually very beautiful. There were faux grape vines hanging on trellises that lined some of the walls. There were photographs on the walls that appeared to be very old. Italian music was playing in the whole place. The food HAS to be good here.
I walked over to Justin and he stood up. What a gentleman.
“Hey, Emma, you look beautiful.” I had a feeling he was going a little far with the “beautiful” comment. I wasn’t wearing anything special.
“Thanks, Justin. You’re lookin’ pretty handsome yourself.” He did. He had a green button-up on with black pants. I don’t think it was his clothes, but he looked a little more mature. Maybe it was the setting.
“Thanks,” he said as he held out my chair for me to sit down. He sat down, too.
“What do you think of this place?” He asked.
“I think it’s beautiful. Italian food is my favorite.”
“Awesome. The food here is great. I don’t understand why people don’t come in here that much.” He began scanning his menu.
“Oh, so you’ve brought other girls in here, have you?” He looked at me startled.
“Oh, no! Just Mom. She likes Italian food too, so we found this place on accident one night.” I smiled at him.
“I was just giving you a hard time.”
“Oh…”
We ordered and our food came not too long after. We talked about everything, just like the first time we talked. I noticed once again how easy it was for me to talk to Justin. He listened, too. He gave me advice about how to deal with fame. He told me stories about him when he was younger. We really connected, and to be honest, it scared me.
After dinner, we were sort of at a loss for something to do next.
“We can’t go anywhere. It’s because of me, I’m sorry,” he said. I gave him a smile to let him know that it was no biggie.
“It’s cool. We can just go by my place. No one really knows me yet so I doubt they’ll be anyone out.”
“What do you wanna do?”
“Well, I guess we could watch a movie.”
“Sounds good.” He smiled the cutest smile I’d seen. Hey, WHOA sister, cut that out. This kid is SIXTEEN. I quickly snapped myself back to reality and we walked outside to get a cab.
We arrived at my building and we rushed inside just in case anyone saw him. When we got to my apartment, we started debating on a movie.
“You like Will Ferrell?” I asked.
“Yeah, of course. What movies of his do you have?”
“Pretty much all of them. You got a favorite?”
“’Anchorman,’ definitely.”
“That works for me,” I said, getting the case out and setting the movie up.
I couldn’t help but laugh at Justin watching the movie. When what I imagine were his favorite parts would come up, he’d mouth the line and then laugh like he’d never seen the movie before. His laugh was contagious. The more he laughed, the more I did.
A scene that was a little, shall we say, “racy” came up and I quickly realized just how close Justin was sitting next to me. It was so awkward. When it finally ended, though, it went back to just the way it was before, with Justin laughing and me joining in.
It was getting late, and I knew he would have to leave soon. So when the movie finished, he turned to me and smiled.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothin’.”
“Ok…”
“I’m going to have to leave in a few minutes. I know my body guard’s going to be texting me soon and telling me he’s on his way up. That’s cool right?”
“Oh yeah, whatever you need to do.”
“I had a good time with you today.” I could feel the heat in my face rise.
“I had a good time today, too.”
“Promise me we’ll get to do it again.”
“Ok. But only for you, I don’t really like promises.”
“Why’s that?” He asked, looking slightly surprised.
“Promises tend to get broken, and I’d hate to do that to you.”
“Hey, brighten up sunshine. We’ll hang out again. You can pinky promise me. If you break the promise, I won’t be mad. I just get your pinky.” I giggled.
“Ok then.” We pinky promised and then his phone went off.
“He’s on his way up now.”
“Oh.” We sat in silence for a few minutes just looking at each other. Occasionally, he’d fake-punch my leg and I’d fake-punch his back. Then his body guard finally knocked at the door. Justin got up and looked through the peep-hole.
“Yep, that’s him.”
“Alright.” I got up and walked over to the door.
“I’ll be texting you, ok? Calling you, too. I don’t know when my next days off are exactly, but I know
I’ll be able to see you.”
“Sounds good to me Just.”
“Awesome.” He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back. “I’ll see you, ok?”
“Ok. Bye Justin.” He was smiling at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.
He winked, and was out the door.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 3
I followed Justin to his dressing room. He kept his hand on his dog-tag a lot, pulling it to the left and right. I kept thinking to myself that I was probably wrong about him flirting with me. He was probably just that way naturally. I mean, he is a sixteen year-old boy. Isn’t that what they all do? I was kind of hoping that was true.
As we walked, he made small talk, which I admit I was happy about. I’m a little shy when I meet new people, and with Justin it felt like I didn’t have to try to keep his attention from wandering. He seemed to be just as interested in what I had to say as I was with what he was saying. We chatted about everything, from the stadium, to fans, to his matching purple hat and shoes. I was becoming a little more comfortable with him when we rounded a corner.
“Here it is,” he said, opening a door on the right. Inside was his dressing room. There was a couch, two chairs, a t.v. and a table. I wondered how he got all of this just for today, but then I reminded myself that he’s the biggest popstar in the world.
“So, funny videos, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, if you want to. That’s what I always do with my friends when we have nothing to do,” I said. He’s probably going to suggest something else. Why would Justin Bieber want to watch videos when he could be doing something much more fun?
“Oh yeah, I love watching videos. You like Chuck Norris?” I laughed.
“Well, I can’t say I don’t. I’m guessing you like him?”
“Yes! I love that guy, he’s awesome. Watch him wrestle this bear!” He sounded so excited. He found the video and loaded it up. I was watching it, but it didn’t more than a few seconds before I was watching him instead. He was looking at the screen with this goofy little smile on his face. He looked like he was amazed. I couldn’t help but giggle to myself.
“It doesn’t matter how many times I watch this video, it’s still awesome,” He said when the video finished. I smiled at him.
“That was pretty awesome.” I couldn’t keep the grin off of my face.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. I could just tell you liked that video.” He looked puzzled but unconcerned.
“What do you want to watch next?”
“Well, I might be the only person in the world, but I’ve never seen those videos that made you famous…”
“Oh no, we don’t need to watch those.”
“What? C’monnn, let’s watch them!” He looked a little nervous.
“But…”
“Justin, if it wasn’t for those you might not be here right now.”
“I know, but I looked so stupid. My hair… ugh.” He appeared to be envisioning his former self in his mind.
“So? We all had questionable hair at some point in our lives, let’s watch.” He gave me a reluctant look, but pulled his laptop closer and began to type.
“Which one?” He asked.
“Hmm…” I looked through the choices. “’With You.’ That’s a good song.”
“Ughh, alright.” He clicked the video and looked mortified. We watched and after it was over, he looked at me cautiously.
“That…was adorable.” I looked at him with a smile that I hoped was comforting and believable. He blushed.
“Thanks.” He seemed to loosen up a little more after that.
For the rest of our time hanging out, we watched some more funny things on the internet. He told me some jokes, I told him some (which were cornier by far) and we even had a rock, paper, scissors tournament.
We headed out of his dressing room together to sound of him whining.
“I can’t BELIEVE you beat me at rock, paper, scissors. I rule at that game.”
“Not anymore.” He gave me a purposely fake mean look. I laughed. “Are you excited now, Mr. Bieber?”
“You know it!” He glided beside me as I walked to prove his point.
“Well I’ll be watching from backstage. If you mess up I’ll be the first to laugh.”
“Hey!”
“Just kiddin’ kiddo.”
“I’m not a kid,” he said, slightly less excitedly.
“Well, you’re a kid to me,” I explained.
“I’m only like three years younger than you.”
“Yeah, but from where I’m at you’re still a kid.” He frowned in thought.
“Yeah, but Demi and Ashton are farther apart in age that we are.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting him to go there. I guess he was flirting earlier.
“Yeah… but we’re not dating.”
“Yet.” He smiled an evil little smile.
“What…?”
“Can’t talk now, gotta get on stage.” He smiled the same smile and ran towards his manager. I was left standing where I was pondering on how a sixteen year old could be so forward. I couldn’t help but giggle.
A few minutes later, Justin was preparing to take the stage, and my band, Charlotte and I were standing side-stage to watch.
“So, how did your date with Justin Bieber go?” Jake asked, batting his eyelashes.
“First of all Jake, I don’t like your tone. And it wasn’t a date. We just hung out. He’s sixteen…”
“So? That’s just three years.”
“Exactly. That’s a big age difference for us. You know what it was like when we were younger. Did you ever have a class with freshmen when you were a senior? I did. I couldn’t stand them. All they did was talk and do really stupid, immature things.”
“Did Justin do anything stupid or immature?”
“Well, no, not really. Nothing I couldn’t at least find funny.” Jake smiled which suggested he already knew the answer.
“Yeah, that’s what I figured. Give the kid a chance.”
“He’s dreamy too, Em. You don’t want to let that get away,” Billy said jokingly.
“Shut up, Billy.” I laughed.
“Welcome to the stage, international teen phenomenon, Justin Bieber!” Justin’s song “Love Me” began to play and he ran out on stage.
He did really well. When I could hear him properly, that is. The crowd was going CRAZY. Girls were screaming, and crying, and I quickly thought of footage I’d seen of a few of the Beatles’ concerts. I giggled to myself. Maybe it’s the Beatles-like hair… In all honesty, though I knew he was good. Some of the fans might have just been there just because he’s good looking, but he had talent. There was no denying that. That’s why he had so many fans.
During a song called “Kiss n’ Tell” he looked directly at me during a part where he sang the lyrics,
“You’s a fly chick, you could be my chick,” and smiled that same evil smile. Of course I got a few whoops and whistles from my bandmates. I’ll never hear the end of this.
After his performance I met him backstage.
“Did you enjoy it?” He asked.
“Yeah, you did a great job,” I replied.
“Hey listen, I’ve got some appointments I’ve got to get to.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Mind if I get your cell phone number?”
“No, not at all. Give me your phone and I’ll program it in, and you can do the same for me.”
“Awesome.” He handed me his phone and I handed him mine. “I’ll text you, ok?”
“Ok. Be careful on your way to wherever you go kiddo.”
“Don’t call me ‘kiddo’.”
“Sorry, I forgot you don’t like that,” I said, giggling.
“I deserve a hug for that.” I’ve got a slick one on my hands. Well played, Justin Bieber. Well played.
“Alright, then.” I hugged him and I could feel the stares of my band behind me. I’m going to hear about this the whole way back home.
“Bye sweetheart.” He said after we hugged.
“See ya, Justin.” He waved as he walked away to join his team.
“He’s too young for me,” I heard Ryan say in a girly voice that I suspected was supposed to be an imitation of my own.
“Shut up Ryan, it was just a hug,” I said defending myself.
“Uh huh, that’s what they all say.” Yup. I was right. They’re going to give me hell all the way home. Jeeze.
As we walked, he made small talk, which I admit I was happy about. I’m a little shy when I meet new people, and with Justin it felt like I didn’t have to try to keep his attention from wandering. He seemed to be just as interested in what I had to say as I was with what he was saying. We chatted about everything, from the stadium, to fans, to his matching purple hat and shoes. I was becoming a little more comfortable with him when we rounded a corner.
“Here it is,” he said, opening a door on the right. Inside was his dressing room. There was a couch, two chairs, a t.v. and a table. I wondered how he got all of this just for today, but then I reminded myself that he’s the biggest popstar in the world.
“So, funny videos, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, if you want to. That’s what I always do with my friends when we have nothing to do,” I said. He’s probably going to suggest something else. Why would Justin Bieber want to watch videos when he could be doing something much more fun?
“Oh yeah, I love watching videos. You like Chuck Norris?” I laughed.
“Well, I can’t say I don’t. I’m guessing you like him?”
“Yes! I love that guy, he’s awesome. Watch him wrestle this bear!” He sounded so excited. He found the video and loaded it up. I was watching it, but it didn’t more than a few seconds before I was watching him instead. He was looking at the screen with this goofy little smile on his face. He looked like he was amazed. I couldn’t help but giggle to myself.
“It doesn’t matter how many times I watch this video, it’s still awesome,” He said when the video finished. I smiled at him.
“That was pretty awesome.” I couldn’t keep the grin off of my face.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. I could just tell you liked that video.” He looked puzzled but unconcerned.
“What do you want to watch next?”
“Well, I might be the only person in the world, but I’ve never seen those videos that made you famous…”
“Oh no, we don’t need to watch those.”
“What? C’monnn, let’s watch them!” He looked a little nervous.
“But…”
“Justin, if it wasn’t for those you might not be here right now.”
“I know, but I looked so stupid. My hair… ugh.” He appeared to be envisioning his former self in his mind.
“So? We all had questionable hair at some point in our lives, let’s watch.” He gave me a reluctant look, but pulled his laptop closer and began to type.
“Which one?” He asked.
“Hmm…” I looked through the choices. “’With You.’ That’s a good song.”
“Ughh, alright.” He clicked the video and looked mortified. We watched and after it was over, he looked at me cautiously.
“That…was adorable.” I looked at him with a smile that I hoped was comforting and believable. He blushed.
“Thanks.” He seemed to loosen up a little more after that.
For the rest of our time hanging out, we watched some more funny things on the internet. He told me some jokes, I told him some (which were cornier by far) and we even had a rock, paper, scissors tournament.
We headed out of his dressing room together to sound of him whining.
“I can’t BELIEVE you beat me at rock, paper, scissors. I rule at that game.”
“Not anymore.” He gave me a purposely fake mean look. I laughed. “Are you excited now, Mr. Bieber?”
“You know it!” He glided beside me as I walked to prove his point.
“Well I’ll be watching from backstage. If you mess up I’ll be the first to laugh.”
“Hey!”
“Just kiddin’ kiddo.”
“I’m not a kid,” he said, slightly less excitedly.
“Well, you’re a kid to me,” I explained.
“I’m only like three years younger than you.”
“Yeah, but from where I’m at you’re still a kid.” He frowned in thought.
“Yeah, but Demi and Ashton are farther apart in age that we are.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting him to go there. I guess he was flirting earlier.
“Yeah… but we’re not dating.”
“Yet.” He smiled an evil little smile.
“What…?”
“Can’t talk now, gotta get on stage.” He smiled the same smile and ran towards his manager. I was left standing where I was pondering on how a sixteen year old could be so forward. I couldn’t help but giggle.
A few minutes later, Justin was preparing to take the stage, and my band, Charlotte and I were standing side-stage to watch.
“So, how did your date with Justin Bieber go?” Jake asked, batting his eyelashes.
“First of all Jake, I don’t like your tone. And it wasn’t a date. We just hung out. He’s sixteen…”
“So? That’s just three years.”
“Exactly. That’s a big age difference for us. You know what it was like when we were younger. Did you ever have a class with freshmen when you were a senior? I did. I couldn’t stand them. All they did was talk and do really stupid, immature things.”
“Did Justin do anything stupid or immature?”
“Well, no, not really. Nothing I couldn’t at least find funny.” Jake smiled which suggested he already knew the answer.
“Yeah, that’s what I figured. Give the kid a chance.”
“He’s dreamy too, Em. You don’t want to let that get away,” Billy said jokingly.
“Shut up, Billy.” I laughed.
“Welcome to the stage, international teen phenomenon, Justin Bieber!” Justin’s song “Love Me” began to play and he ran out on stage.
He did really well. When I could hear him properly, that is. The crowd was going CRAZY. Girls were screaming, and crying, and I quickly thought of footage I’d seen of a few of the Beatles’ concerts. I giggled to myself. Maybe it’s the Beatles-like hair… In all honesty, though I knew he was good. Some of the fans might have just been there just because he’s good looking, but he had talent. There was no denying that. That’s why he had so many fans.
During a song called “Kiss n’ Tell” he looked directly at me during a part where he sang the lyrics,
“You’s a fly chick, you could be my chick,” and smiled that same evil smile. Of course I got a few whoops and whistles from my bandmates. I’ll never hear the end of this.
After his performance I met him backstage.
“Did you enjoy it?” He asked.
“Yeah, you did a great job,” I replied.
“Hey listen, I’ve got some appointments I’ve got to get to.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Mind if I get your cell phone number?”
“No, not at all. Give me your phone and I’ll program it in, and you can do the same for me.”
“Awesome.” He handed me his phone and I handed him mine. “I’ll text you, ok?”
“Ok. Be careful on your way to wherever you go kiddo.”
“Don’t call me ‘kiddo’.”
“Sorry, I forgot you don’t like that,” I said, giggling.
“I deserve a hug for that.” I’ve got a slick one on my hands. Well played, Justin Bieber. Well played.
“Alright, then.” I hugged him and I could feel the stares of my band behind me. I’m going to hear about this the whole way back home.
“Bye sweetheart.” He said after we hugged.
“See ya, Justin.” He waved as he walked away to join his team.
“He’s too young for me,” I heard Ryan say in a girly voice that I suspected was supposed to be an imitation of my own.
“Shut up Ryan, it was just a hug,” I said defending myself.
“Uh huh, that’s what they all say.” Yup. I was right. They’re going to give me hell all the way home. Jeeze.
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 2
We arrived at Giants Stadium by 8:30. There were already people in the seats and people soundchecking.
“Well Em, what do you think?”
“To be honest Charl, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Please try not to do that Emma,” she smiled. “Remember, you’ll do fine.” Jake, Billy, Charlie, and Ryan were walking beside me, looking just like I figured I looked: pale, scared, and jittery. I wasn’t sure I could take it. I’d have to just tell Charlotte I couldn’t do it. No one would miss me. Heck, Katy Perry could come on thirty minutes earlier. Who would argue with that?
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Huh?” I looked at Ryan.
“You’re thinking about making a run for it. There’s no way I’m letting you do that.”
“How did you-“
“We’ve been playing together for three years, I know you like the back of my hand. Don’t think I didn’t recognize the ‘Holy **** I’ve gotta get the heck out of here’ face.” Ryan really did know me too well.
“Fine. But if I barf all over the stage, it’s your fault.”
“Emma, you’ve got an interview just down here in about ten minutes. Let’s go ahead and head on down that way.”
“Ok, ok…” Oh boy. Interviews really weren’t that bad, but I always feel so goofy talking about myself.
We walked down the hall to a room with a couch, a chair, and all the equipment necessary for interviews.
“Emma! Hello, I’m Tom from X104.7. Very nice to meet you! Would you have a seat on the couch please?” Tom was slightly tall with hair the color of coffee. I could use a coffee…
“Hello Tom, nice to meet you!” I said shaking his hand and then sitting on the white couch. If I had coffee I’d probably spill it all over this and then I’d have to apologize and that would be so embarrassing… I really needed to concentrate.
“Okay Emma, we’re going to be taping this live if you don’t mind.” Even if I did mind, what could I do about it?
“Ok, sounds good,” I said smiling the most genuine and un-nervous smile I could muster.
“Ok we’re live in 3, 2…”
“Hello, this is Tom Hager with X104.7, and I’m here with Emma Evans. How are you today Emma?”
“I’m great, thanks.” Ugh. There go those butterflies again.
“This is your first big performance, isn’t it?
“Oh yeah, I’ve never played somewhere this big before.” Thanks for reminding me, Tom.
“Are you excited to be playing alongside acts such as Katy Perry, the Black-Eyed Peas, and Justin Bieber, especially at just nineteen years old?”
“Definitely, I can’t even believe I’m here. I think my whole town might be able to fit inside this stadium. It’s absolutely crazy to me that I’m here with people like that.”
“Small town girl, eh? Well I imagine you live in New York City now.”
“Yeah, I moved here after I got signed. I miss home, but I’m living the dream.” That was definitely true.
“Your album comes out next month, am I right?”
“Yep, July 7th!” Another thing to make me nervous… jeeze.
“Well I’m sure after this performance a bunch of people will go out and buy it. I’ve heard your stuff. I think they’ll all like it.”
“Thanks, I really hope so.”
“Well Emma, I wish you luck on your performance!”
“Thanks, Tom!” Fiiiiiinaly. This interview was over.
I got up and walked over to Charlotte and we walked out of the door.
“One interview down, just the biggest performance of my career left to g-“ I just collided with something quite solid and I knew instantly that it was a person. DAMN. During the split second between colliding with the person and actually looking to see who I’d mown down, I just knew it had to have been Usher. I’ve just knocked Usher to the ground. I should just leave now.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” That definitely wasn’t Usher’s voice.
“Oh no it was my fault, I’m sorry,” I looked into the face of a boy who couldn’t have been older than seventeen. He looked oddly familiar.
“Oh no, sweetheart, you’re ok! I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, no, I’m fine, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Are you performing today?” He asked. I know I’ve seen this kid somewhere…
“Oh, yeah.”
“Awesome, I guess I might see you backstage then?” He smiled. I’VE GOT IT. It’s Justin Bieber. Holy **** I just ran Justin Bieber over. I’m going to get death threats. Ugh great job, Emma. Just knock the world’s biggest popstar to the ground; I’m sure no one will notice.
“Ok, I guess I’ll see you there.” I smiled at him. What else could I do? I almost knocked his brains out. I’m surprised he even wanted to look at me.
“Five minutes ‘til showtime Em.”
“Shut up, Charlotte, or I’ll send my army of angry stomach butterflies at you,” I thought. Wow, I was even what I was thinking sounded stupid. “If I make it out of here alive, I’m never doing this again.”
Some person I’d never heard of was finishing up their set. I’m sure she’d never heard of me either, so I felt sort of proud of her for getting out there and doing it. After all, I’m in that chick’s place next.
“Next up, we’ve got Emma Evans,” the MC said. My band starting playing the music to my opening song. My legs felt like spaghetti and the butterflies in my stomach were trying to break out, I swear.
As I walked out on stage it hit me all over again. The realization of what I was doing came in another wave over me and I just had to hold on because if I didn’t, all of Giants Stadium would see me barf up my breakfast and I’m sure they’d rather not.
--------
“Oh…my…gosh… that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done!” I said to Billy as we ran backstage after I finished my performance.
“I know, right? I feel like I could jump off of a building!”
“Billy please, don’t do that.”
“Charlotte, I wasn’t being serious, you know I wouldn’t-“
“You did a great job.” Did my ears deceive me, or was that Justin Bieber I heard?
I spun around to my left and sure enough, there he was, standing there and smiling.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I replied. I knew about a million middle school girls who’d have ripped the guitar out of Ryan’s hands and beat me unmercifully if they heard what Justin said to me.
“No problem.” He smiled and flicked his hair.
“When do you go on?” I said as Charlotte tried to bustle me along the hall. Justin followed.
“I don’t go on for another couple of hours. I don’t have anything to do until then. Do you want to hang out? If you’re not busy I mean.” I think he was flirting but from where I was at he was jailbait, and I’d rather not go to jail for dating a sixteen year old. Nevertheless, I figured what could it hurt? I’d just let him know he’s too young for me, and we’d be friends or something.
“What do you say, Charl?” I asked, looking back at her.
“Well…” She flipped through a schedule. “You really don’t have anything else to do here, I guess that’s fine.”
“Awesome,” Justin said. “I’ve got Rock Band set up in my dressing room, and some other video games if you’d wanna play.”
“I’m no guitar hero, man.” He looked disappointed. I really didn’t mean it to sound like that. The last thing I want to do is hurt this kid’s feelings. I might wake up with one of his fans hovering over me with a pillow ready to smother me if I did. “You have a laptop with you?”
“Yeah…”
“Ok, let’s go watch funny videos on YouTube. You can’t lose with that.” He smiled and flicked his hair again.
“Good idea. Let’s go.”
“Well Em, what do you think?”
“To be honest Charl, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Please try not to do that Emma,” she smiled. “Remember, you’ll do fine.” Jake, Billy, Charlie, and Ryan were walking beside me, looking just like I figured I looked: pale, scared, and jittery. I wasn’t sure I could take it. I’d have to just tell Charlotte I couldn’t do it. No one would miss me. Heck, Katy Perry could come on thirty minutes earlier. Who would argue with that?
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Huh?” I looked at Ryan.
“You’re thinking about making a run for it. There’s no way I’m letting you do that.”
“How did you-“
“We’ve been playing together for three years, I know you like the back of my hand. Don’t think I didn’t recognize the ‘Holy **** I’ve gotta get the heck out of here’ face.” Ryan really did know me too well.
“Fine. But if I barf all over the stage, it’s your fault.”
“Emma, you’ve got an interview just down here in about ten minutes. Let’s go ahead and head on down that way.”
“Ok, ok…” Oh boy. Interviews really weren’t that bad, but I always feel so goofy talking about myself.
We walked down the hall to a room with a couch, a chair, and all the equipment necessary for interviews.
“Emma! Hello, I’m Tom from X104.7. Very nice to meet you! Would you have a seat on the couch please?” Tom was slightly tall with hair the color of coffee. I could use a coffee…
“Hello Tom, nice to meet you!” I said shaking his hand and then sitting on the white couch. If I had coffee I’d probably spill it all over this and then I’d have to apologize and that would be so embarrassing… I really needed to concentrate.
“Okay Emma, we’re going to be taping this live if you don’t mind.” Even if I did mind, what could I do about it?
“Ok, sounds good,” I said smiling the most genuine and un-nervous smile I could muster.
“Ok we’re live in 3, 2…”
“Hello, this is Tom Hager with X104.7, and I’m here with Emma Evans. How are you today Emma?”
“I’m great, thanks.” Ugh. There go those butterflies again.
“This is your first big performance, isn’t it?
“Oh yeah, I’ve never played somewhere this big before.” Thanks for reminding me, Tom.
“Are you excited to be playing alongside acts such as Katy Perry, the Black-Eyed Peas, and Justin Bieber, especially at just nineteen years old?”
“Definitely, I can’t even believe I’m here. I think my whole town might be able to fit inside this stadium. It’s absolutely crazy to me that I’m here with people like that.”
“Small town girl, eh? Well I imagine you live in New York City now.”
“Yeah, I moved here after I got signed. I miss home, but I’m living the dream.” That was definitely true.
“Your album comes out next month, am I right?”
“Yep, July 7th!” Another thing to make me nervous… jeeze.
“Well I’m sure after this performance a bunch of people will go out and buy it. I’ve heard your stuff. I think they’ll all like it.”
“Thanks, I really hope so.”
“Well Emma, I wish you luck on your performance!”
“Thanks, Tom!” Fiiiiiinaly. This interview was over.
I got up and walked over to Charlotte and we walked out of the door.
“One interview down, just the biggest performance of my career left to g-“ I just collided with something quite solid and I knew instantly that it was a person. DAMN. During the split second between colliding with the person and actually looking to see who I’d mown down, I just knew it had to have been Usher. I’ve just knocked Usher to the ground. I should just leave now.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” That definitely wasn’t Usher’s voice.
“Oh no it was my fault, I’m sorry,” I looked into the face of a boy who couldn’t have been older than seventeen. He looked oddly familiar.
“Oh no, sweetheart, you’re ok! I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, no, I’m fine, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Are you performing today?” He asked. I know I’ve seen this kid somewhere…
“Oh, yeah.”
“Awesome, I guess I might see you backstage then?” He smiled. I’VE GOT IT. It’s Justin Bieber. Holy **** I just ran Justin Bieber over. I’m going to get death threats. Ugh great job, Emma. Just knock the world’s biggest popstar to the ground; I’m sure no one will notice.
“Ok, I guess I’ll see you there.” I smiled at him. What else could I do? I almost knocked his brains out. I’m surprised he even wanted to look at me.
“Five minutes ‘til showtime Em.”
“Shut up, Charlotte, or I’ll send my army of angry stomach butterflies at you,” I thought. Wow, I was even what I was thinking sounded stupid. “If I make it out of here alive, I’m never doing this again.”
Some person I’d never heard of was finishing up their set. I’m sure she’d never heard of me either, so I felt sort of proud of her for getting out there and doing it. After all, I’m in that chick’s place next.
“Next up, we’ve got Emma Evans,” the MC said. My band starting playing the music to my opening song. My legs felt like spaghetti and the butterflies in my stomach were trying to break out, I swear.
As I walked out on stage it hit me all over again. The realization of what I was doing came in another wave over me and I just had to hold on because if I didn’t, all of Giants Stadium would see me barf up my breakfast and I’m sure they’d rather not.
--------
“Oh…my…gosh… that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done!” I said to Billy as we ran backstage after I finished my performance.
“I know, right? I feel like I could jump off of a building!”
“Billy please, don’t do that.”
“Charlotte, I wasn’t being serious, you know I wouldn’t-“
“You did a great job.” Did my ears deceive me, or was that Justin Bieber I heard?
I spun around to my left and sure enough, there he was, standing there and smiling.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I replied. I knew about a million middle school girls who’d have ripped the guitar out of Ryan’s hands and beat me unmercifully if they heard what Justin said to me.
“No problem.” He smiled and flicked his hair.
“When do you go on?” I said as Charlotte tried to bustle me along the hall. Justin followed.
“I don’t go on for another couple of hours. I don’t have anything to do until then. Do you want to hang out? If you’re not busy I mean.” I think he was flirting but from where I was at he was jailbait, and I’d rather not go to jail for dating a sixteen year old. Nevertheless, I figured what could it hurt? I’d just let him know he’s too young for me, and we’d be friends or something.
“What do you say, Charl?” I asked, looking back at her.
“Well…” She flipped through a schedule. “You really don’t have anything else to do here, I guess that’s fine.”
“Awesome,” Justin said. “I’ve got Rock Band set up in my dressing room, and some other video games if you’d wanna play.”
“I’m no guitar hero, man.” He looked disappointed. I really didn’t mean it to sound like that. The last thing I want to do is hurt this kid’s feelings. I might wake up with one of his fans hovering over me with a pillow ready to smother me if I did. “You have a laptop with you?”
“Yeah…”
“Ok, let’s go watch funny videos on YouTube. You can’t lose with that.” He smiled and flicked his hair again.
“Good idea. Let’s go.”
Reckless and clumsy... chapter 1
“Can you turn a little to the left for me please, Emma? Perfect!” I always sort of found photo shoots a little awkward. I’m not exactly a person who loves being the center of attention. I guess I chose the wrong career path. What can I say, though? I love what I do. I love being able to write and perform music. I don’t think there’s ever been any other thing I ever could have down with my life other than this.
“We’ve only got a few more frames left, Emma. You’re really going to like how these shots are turning out.” I really wasn’t concerned with what the photographer was saying. There were peanut butter sandwiches calling my name outside. I tried to look as photogenic as possible without looking too awkward, which if I say so myself, was probably the thing I’m best at… being awkward.
“That’s a wrap! Thanks Emma, you were wonderful.”
“Thank you!” I said. Jeeze, my belly was rumbling and the sooner I could get to those peanut butter sandwiches the better.
“Emma!” Dang. My manager Charlotte was the only obstacle between me and those sweet sandwiches. This better be good.
“Yes, Charlotte?”
“Don’t forget that tomorrow you have the performance and press for X104.7’s Summer Bash.”
“Charlotte, I promise I’m not stupid. I’ve been rehearsing for that show for two weeks now. I think I can remember that it’s tomorrow.”
“I know Emma, but this is a VERY important performance. It’s sort of like your debut, you know? This isn’t just an interview, or an acoustic set for a magazine. This is the big time. You do remember who all is going to be there, right?” Charlotte said all very quickly.
“No, not really. To be honest with you all I can think about right now are some peanut butter sandwiches that I’ve been waiting half an hour for. I really appreciate the concern for my understanding, but my stomach is in protest due to lack of food and I’d really like to eat. You want me to eat, right Charl?”
“Yes, of course, don’t be silly.” Taking this as my cue to leave, I headed out the door and down the hall. “Em, I’m serious, this is big. I hope you’re ready for this.” Charlotte looked flustered and overworked. I couldn’t help thinking I was the cause of her state.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m ready whatever. See you Charlotte! And don’t work so hard, jeeze. You’re going to have a mental breakdown.”
About an hour later and after I’d downed at least three peanut butter sandwiches, I met up with my band for one final rehearsal for Summer Bash.
“Hey guys!” My band was tuning up in one of the rehearsal rooms at one of my record company’s buildings.
“Hey Em!” they all said almost exactly together. “You excited?”
I hadn’t really given this show much thought until that exact moment. X104.7’s Summer Bash really was a big deal. It was one of the biggest radio stations on the East Coast, and their summer concert special had so many stars it was like something you see for a benefit concert. Performers from a bunch of different genres all performed on two giant stages, all in one day. Usher, Paramore, Beyonce, Snoop Dog, the Black-Eyed Peas, Coldplay… and those were just the people I could think of off of the top of my head. The more I thought about it, the more engrossed in the idea I became. How could a girl from a small country town like me end up in a position like this?
“Em. Emma. Heyyyy Emma. EMMA.”
“HEY whoa… what?” I guess I got a little distracted.
“Did you just have a moment?” Billy, one of my guitarists asked me.
“Yeah… I just realized what playing this show could mean. But hey, no biggie right? Pshh. We got this.” I said with a little false confidence.
“Em, you don’t have to worry. You’re awesome. WE’RE awesome. Just chill, do your thing and the rest will come to you.” Jake, my bassist said. “Right guys?”
“Right.”
“Thanks you guys, I guess I’m just freaking out. Let’s get to work. I want this to be good.”
------
The next morning I woke up before my alarm clock even went off. I was freaking out again. I really needed to get a grip on myself or this performance would be a complete disaster.
My clock finally went off at 5:30 and reluctantly I got out of bed to get ready.
As soon as I got done showering, and when I say that, I mean I was reaching for my towel when my phone rang. I knew who it was without even looking.
“Charlotte, you have amazing timing, you know that?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were up and getting ready. This is a big day.”
“I could do without the constant reminding of how big this performance is Charl, I already feel like a colony of butterflies have taken up residence in my small intestines…”
“Sorry Em, I really am. You’ll do fine. It’s my job to be like this, you know that.” She sounded calmer than me for once.
“I know, but I’ve been freaking out for the past twelve hours and it’s really starting to bug me.”
“Well, I really can’t tell you anything but to just do your best. I’ll be there, your band will be there, and everything will go fine. Now get off here and finish getting ready. You know you can’t be late.” I sighed.
“Alright Charlotte, see you in an hour,” I hung up. “If I haven’t exploded into a million tiny bits due to nerves by then, that is.”
źródło: http://justinbieber.org/justin-bieber-fan-fiction/1842-reckless-clumsy.html
“We’ve only got a few more frames left, Emma. You’re really going to like how these shots are turning out.” I really wasn’t concerned with what the photographer was saying. There were peanut butter sandwiches calling my name outside. I tried to look as photogenic as possible without looking too awkward, which if I say so myself, was probably the thing I’m best at… being awkward.
“That’s a wrap! Thanks Emma, you were wonderful.”
“Thank you!” I said. Jeeze, my belly was rumbling and the sooner I could get to those peanut butter sandwiches the better.
“Emma!” Dang. My manager Charlotte was the only obstacle between me and those sweet sandwiches. This better be good.
“Yes, Charlotte?”
“Don’t forget that tomorrow you have the performance and press for X104.7’s Summer Bash.”
“Charlotte, I promise I’m not stupid. I’ve been rehearsing for that show for two weeks now. I think I can remember that it’s tomorrow.”
“I know Emma, but this is a VERY important performance. It’s sort of like your debut, you know? This isn’t just an interview, or an acoustic set for a magazine. This is the big time. You do remember who all is going to be there, right?” Charlotte said all very quickly.
“No, not really. To be honest with you all I can think about right now are some peanut butter sandwiches that I’ve been waiting half an hour for. I really appreciate the concern for my understanding, but my stomach is in protest due to lack of food and I’d really like to eat. You want me to eat, right Charl?”
“Yes, of course, don’t be silly.” Taking this as my cue to leave, I headed out the door and down the hall. “Em, I’m serious, this is big. I hope you’re ready for this.” Charlotte looked flustered and overworked. I couldn’t help thinking I was the cause of her state.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m ready whatever. See you Charlotte! And don’t work so hard, jeeze. You’re going to have a mental breakdown.”
About an hour later and after I’d downed at least three peanut butter sandwiches, I met up with my band for one final rehearsal for Summer Bash.
“Hey guys!” My band was tuning up in one of the rehearsal rooms at one of my record company’s buildings.
“Hey Em!” they all said almost exactly together. “You excited?”
I hadn’t really given this show much thought until that exact moment. X104.7’s Summer Bash really was a big deal. It was one of the biggest radio stations on the East Coast, and their summer concert special had so many stars it was like something you see for a benefit concert. Performers from a bunch of different genres all performed on two giant stages, all in one day. Usher, Paramore, Beyonce, Snoop Dog, the Black-Eyed Peas, Coldplay… and those were just the people I could think of off of the top of my head. The more I thought about it, the more engrossed in the idea I became. How could a girl from a small country town like me end up in a position like this?
“Em. Emma. Heyyyy Emma. EMMA.”
“HEY whoa… what?” I guess I got a little distracted.
“Did you just have a moment?” Billy, one of my guitarists asked me.
“Yeah… I just realized what playing this show could mean. But hey, no biggie right? Pshh. We got this.” I said with a little false confidence.
“Em, you don’t have to worry. You’re awesome. WE’RE awesome. Just chill, do your thing and the rest will come to you.” Jake, my bassist said. “Right guys?”
“Right.”
“Thanks you guys, I guess I’m just freaking out. Let’s get to work. I want this to be good.”
------
The next morning I woke up before my alarm clock even went off. I was freaking out again. I really needed to get a grip on myself or this performance would be a complete disaster.
My clock finally went off at 5:30 and reluctantly I got out of bed to get ready.
As soon as I got done showering, and when I say that, I mean I was reaching for my towel when my phone rang. I knew who it was without even looking.
“Charlotte, you have amazing timing, you know that?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were up and getting ready. This is a big day.”
“I could do without the constant reminding of how big this performance is Charl, I already feel like a colony of butterflies have taken up residence in my small intestines…”
“Sorry Em, I really am. You’ll do fine. It’s my job to be like this, you know that.” She sounded calmer than me for once.
“I know, but I’ve been freaking out for the past twelve hours and it’s really starting to bug me.”
“Well, I really can’t tell you anything but to just do your best. I’ll be there, your band will be there, and everything will go fine. Now get off here and finish getting ready. You know you can’t be late.” I sighed.
“Alright Charlotte, see you in an hour,” I hung up. “If I haven’t exploded into a million tiny bits due to nerves by then, that is.”
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